In my early 30s when I had disposable income and time, I did a lot of self help and motivational seminars. You name it, I tried it. Always looking for a way to find a better me, a more successful me. One of my favorites was Tony Robbins. I attended 4 seminars and spent a lot of time and money. To this day there are things I sayings and lessons I still use. I was hooked until it started to feel more about the money to them than actually helping people. But that doesn't take away from the fact that many of his lessons and principals are incredible. Who else has mentored so many amazing and successful people ?
One line that I loved and use in a different for is this “if you're WHY is big enough, you will find a way.” In My class for the last 12 or so years I say my version of this which is “what's your REASON.” I'll say something during a hill Climb it right before a sprint “what's your reason to be here, to work harder, to push further” etc then I will say something like “If it's for your health, do it for that. If it's for your kids do that”
So this week I want to write on this idea because last weekend I had a “what's my reason” moment that in hindsite was so rediculous, but got me thinking a lot about my reasons and why I do things.
Now don't make fun when I tell you this. I was invited to a small gathering last weekend. I showed up a little late, last person to arrive actually. As I walked in I was INSTANTLY blown away by the person standing clear on the other side of the room. Like the kind of blown away seen in a romantic comedy lol. Actually, the perfect example so you can visualize is the scene in Dumb and Dumber when Jim Carey sees Lauren Holly and it zooms into her while music starts playing. Haha.
So I walk in, starts meeting people, shaking hands, learning names, checking her hand for a ring (the usual stuff a single guys does) lol. Before long though I realized that if she had a partner he was not there and no wedding ring. Probably haven't been this taken by someone in 30 years! The conversation in my head seemed normal at the time but looking back I was being an idiot. Things like, she's too pretty for me. She'd never want to date me. Maybe if i worked out harder. Maybe if I got a more cool hair cut, nicer clothes, and on and on lol. The longer we all talked the more evident it became that she was too
Young for me anyway. Probably 28 or 29. My dreams were dashed before I even got to know her lol. It probably took 4 days before I could stop thinking about her lol. I've always been that kind of love sick dreamer though haha
Anyway, the point of the story, and the direction my thought process went was, how we will put something off or neglect it until our REASON (or as TR says “your WHY) is big enough. I've been wanting to get in better shape, stop drinking dt soda, and eat better for YEARS. And from the moment I opened that door and saw her smile I was ready to never eat another cheese burger, never miss a workout, and do anything I could to get her attention lol So how stupid is that ? What's more important, a girl or my health??? Why am I putting off getting in the best shape of my life when in reality ALL my reasons to do so are more important than meeting a women? I have kids who need me, a million goals to accomplish, and friends and family who want me around. I'm not joking, that night I was so taken that I would have signed a contract to do anything needed if it meant I could wake up next to her every day lol Crazy right ??
In my life I have had the good fortune to not really know addiction. At least not the ones we cringe about. Sure I have some not life threatening ones (pizza, fresh chocolate chip cookies, TH (only my friends will
Know what TH is lol) but none of the big ones like smoking, alcohol, gambling, etc. BUT I have a family full of addicts who can't stop doing/using the above. And I see how they have given Into it like there's no other solution. But I have to wonder if their “reason” was big enough and in their face enough, if they would stop. I see signs all the time that (in my opinion) would be a big enough reason to stop. If your kids tell you they don't like Sunday's during football because you're always drunk, to me THATS a reason. Of your doctor tells you that you have emphysema and you could die from it, than why 30 years later are you still
Smoking ?? I could go on and on, but my point is that maybe it's not as simple as someone's “Reason” or their why. Maybe if the individual doesn't have the inner strength or worse, of they love themselves more than others, maybe the reasons and the why don't matter. I would HATE to think that could be true, but these days I'm not sure. To many of us (myself included) are doing shit we know isn't good for us. Maybe if my doctor says “if you don't stop drinking diet soda you're going to die on (enter specific date because I am too superstitious to make one up) then I maybe I wold stop ? I really wonder. Am I strong enough ?
Two things you will hear me gush about my kids and my gym. I make no excuse for either. Even when married, my ex and I would be on date night and 10 minutes in would be looking at the baby came to stare at what we created. And now that I am dating again, if the person asks ANYTHING about my kids the phone comes out and photos start flying. They are my everything, my REASON. Any parent can relate. My gym though is different. The management is like a family to me, no doubt. BUT ALMOST as important as that is, teaching those classes. With all the crap we deal with on a daily basis, all the information overload we have to sift through, when I am in that spin room and in my “zone,” I like to tell myself that at least one person taking class is there for a reason. A reason so big, so powerful to them that they would be willing to give up 90 minutes of their day to be with me for class. And if they are, than it is my obligation to give them everything. Maybe it's someone who feels overweight or ugly. Maybe someone whose spouse abuses them and they need to feel strong again so they can leave. Maybe the doctor gave them bad news about their cholesterol. It could be a million things. And if I don't BRING IT then I have added to the problem instead of being part of a solution because now they have 90 less minutes of their life to solve what's hurting them.
I say this ALL the time in class. Spinning has GOT to be about more than spinning a wheel. It's got to be about more than listening to my playlist. If the point was to be able to say “I went to the gym today” than simply sitting on the parking lot in your car with a happy meal and smokes would be much easier than what we put these people through right ?
So the next time you teach, remember this. People in that class are there for a REASON and what the reason is doesn't have to make sense to you. But as passionate instructors we owe it to them to help them in their journey. And the best part is while we are helping them with their “reason,” we are benefiting in a million ways ourselves. I love what I do and am grateful for the opportunity. My list of things I made in the hopes of being the guy who got to be with the girl from the party was a GREAT LIST !!! I just need to apply it to the right “reason.” And in addition, that whole incident reminded me of two very important things. One, I am still not back to my old confident self and need to work on that. And two, that it's time I align my priorities better because I have a lot more to do for a lot more people. And WHEN I do, a girl like that will love me not for my waste size but for the man I am on the inside. If you ask me, that's a pretty fucking good REASON !!! (See previous post for explanation of the use of the F word here. It was on purpose).
- Blink, Blink, Blink by Jay Duplessie - August 12, 2019
- The Climb by Jay Duplessie - June 4, 2018
- You Don't Know What You Don't Know By Jay Duplessie - March 29, 2018