Are we done yet………..and do we WANT to be ??
The other day I was leaving the mall in my truck. Iâ€™m sitting at an intersection waiting for a car who was stopped and waiting to go, when in fact she had no stop sign and so should have driven right through. I sat there patiently waiting for her to figure it out and when she did I started to move into the intersection. Then, out of nowhere ANOTHER car comes barrelassing up behind the car that just sent and nearly crashes into me. Now, this second car saw me, and was much further back, but as most people these days seem to do, she saw me and needed to make a point that “it was her right of way.” So I got mid intersection where she almost tee-boned me and looked right into her car. She was losing her shit!! I mean REALLY losing her shit. There was a teenage girl in the passenger side too. Oh, and did I mention it was a sunny 72 degrees here in Mid-February? A day that most people should feel Joyous and happy?
Our cars were not going fast enough to hurt anyone, and probably barely make a dent. All that happened was some inpatient lady with a chip saw that I was in HER intersection and so she SPED up to make a point that it was her right of way. She wasnâ€™t there to see that myself and the person on the opposing side of me had been sitting there patiently waiting for the prior lady to move. But people in this world today are in such a rush, and totally addicted to being first so they can hurry up and finish. As if me being in that intersection costs her 2 full seconds of her life and in doing so would make her world crumble.
Flash forward 20 minutes later and Iâ€™m in the parking garage at Ikea. I drive a big Escalade SUV and so I try to find wide spaces to park. Iâ€™m ready to pull in and out of the corner of my eye I see a space 3 spaces closer to the front entrance……….so I stop my turn and drive further to the closest spot. Ummmmmmm, didnâ€™t I essentially just do the same thing that lady did to me earlier? Granted I went about it differently but in a way it was the same thing. As if parking 3 spaces closer was going to save me any time at all. So it got me thinking………….why are we in such a hurry all of the time to “finish.”
I love standup comedy and this story reminded me of one of his bits. The comedianâ€™s name is X and heâ€™s kind of known as being the Albino looking good. If you know him, then when I say “Hot Pockeeeeeeettttssss” youâ€™re laughing your ass off haha Anyway, he does a really funny bit about the gym and how he hates working out. How he likes to go on a treadmill but watch the person next to himâ€™s TV lol But the funny part that reminds me of this goes something like:
“You ever see those guys at the gym who are all buff with no body fat and whose muscles are huge and glistening with sweat? Sometimes I want to just go up to those guys and say “Hey dude, what are you doing here……YOUâ€™RE DONE!!” lol
As funny as that is, it actually makes a great point for my post this week. Think about why we go to the gym and why we work out so hard. Of course we have goals whether it be too loose weight, or gain muscle, or fix our cholesterol, BUT there really is never an “Iâ€™m done” moment right? Who would want that !?!?! We do these things for important goals for sure, but in addition itâ€™s the workout that we are after too. NOT just the reward. So why the hell would we ever want to rush through a workout?
Now just substitute the word “Workout” with “Journey” or “LIFE” and read it one more time. Are you (like me) one of those people busting your ass to finish something JUST SO YOU CAN MOVE ONTO SOMETHING ELSE!?!?!? Howâ€™s that serving you ? Iâ€™ll tell you this, I havenâ€™t felt like I was “DONE” with anything for probably 40 years !! lol Can you even remember a time when you sat on the couch and went “huh, thatâ€™s odd….Iâ€™m done and I have nothing else to do and nowhere to be.” If you get to that point than I am sorry to say that YOUâ€™RE DEAD.” =(
Often when I write one of these posts (if not always) it comes from a personal place and something that I experienced that week. And Iâ€™ve been pretty transparent up until now with my posts so I why stop now haha. So last week I found myself in a dark rut that try as I may I could not climb out of. I was miserable and had NO reason to be. There was nothing I could point to and say “This is making me sad” or “This person is hurting me.” It was just a black cloud over my head that wouldnâ€™t leave for 4 days. Then this whole incident with the crazy chick almost hitting me at the mall that got me thinking about time, the journey, the rush to try and finish when “finishing” isnâ€™t the goal. Within a few hours I had a long list of changes I am going to start doing in my life and as of today most of them are implemented. Some are basic like new foods and natural supplements I started taking today. But some are out of the box for me and a couple I want to share just in case anyone reading this ever feels this way or knows someone who can relate.
First, I took myself off of Facebook for a while. It is amazing how the amount of time we spend on there can start to creep up. The constant need to look at your phone to see if there are any updates. So thereâ€™s 3 more hours to my day to start living!! lol
Second, I removed myself from all dating sites. When you email 100 people and 99 ignore you, itâ€™s time to say “it ainâ€™t working for you kid.” Lol As someone who believes deeply in the law of attraction and the vibration of energy, I have ZERO doubt that the constant rejection by 99% of the women I reached out to was definitely playing a part in my low vibration and energy. So poof, closed them all.
Third, and this was a big one, I stopped watching YouTube conspiracy documentaries. Itâ€™s like a drug, first you start with the JFK Conspiracy ones and before you know it you are watching the “Flat Earth Society” and all the folks who are warning of the Elites trying to take over the world and shrink the population to 500 million people worldwide (We currently sit at close to 9 billion). And donâ€™t get me started on the ones about the cancer causing poisons in our food, water, clothes, toys, furniture, etc. etc. etc. By the end of every day I was finding myself exhausted, rejected, and scared to death of everything and anything that I ate, wore, or breathed. No wonder I felt like poop!
But the fourth thing is the one I want to share most. And this is something that I never thought I would be able to do. My research in how to get my center back brought to me a lot of people saying the mediation is the best thing you could ever do for your health, mood, and soul. Being someone who canâ€™t shut his brain off, meditation never seemed to work for me. BUT I think I found a way for all of you type “A” personality people out there like me =) Read below and try it out because for the first time I finally felt like I may be able to do this!!!!
Hereâ€™s what I did. Do some or all of this and try it before making fun:
I created a dark room in my house. Under the stairs in the finished basement is a small crawl space about 4 feet high and 5 x 8 deep and wide. I covered all walls and ceilings with BLACK sheets and a shag black carpet. I got BLACK pillows and LOTS of blankets under the carpet to make it soft. I then got Aroma Therapy scents that do not have any light to them. I didnâ€™t get the aroma therapy stuff for its chemical therapy because I am not sure I am there yet with regards to believing haha. I got them because I wanted a smell that would remind me of when I was a little boy with hardly any worries. For me that smell was/is Lilac bushes. I smell that and immediately find myself back on that one way street in NH where I lived when I was about 6 yrs. old.
Then, and THIS is by far the most “out of the box” thing I have ever tried in my life, I went and bought some Crystals and some Organite. Look it up and judge for yourself. Itâ€™s too new for me to even speculate whether this is real or fake so do your own research.
Finally, I found some meditation music and some guided mediations to listen to. If you believe in this stuff, then you donâ€™t want to have your cell phone or any wireless devices near you. So for me I have regular headphones with a long wire and press play before I go into my room.
So I get this tiny little dark room under my basement stairs all finished and as I stand back I realize that what looks like a dark mediation room for me, may look like a kill room from an episode of DEXTER to someone else haha. But I used it and it worked!! I gave it 45 minutes and spent all of that time repeating to myself that “I WILL ENJOY THE JOURNEY, I WILL EXPERIENCE THE RIDE, AND I WILL NOT BE FINISHED FOR A LONG LONG TIME AND THAT IS A GOOD THING SO STOP RACING THROUGH LIFE!” My Mantra may be much different from yours, doesnâ€™t matter. But if youâ€™re like me and you need to find ways to stop rushing to the “next thing” than I highly suggest trying meditation. And donâ€™t forget to look at what you do in a day and see what “non-helpful” things you can get rid of to make more time for the juice!!
“HI, my name is Jay and I am now a recovering over-doer who is learning that life is about me being able to slow down every so often even if it means Iâ€™m late getting to something else.” I plan to be around to dance with my grandchildren and I hope you are too!! Peace!!
- Blink, Blink, Blink by Jay Duplessie - August 12, 2019
- The Climb by Jay Duplessie - June 4, 2018
- You Don't Know What You Don't Know By Jay Duplessie - March 29, 2018