by Jay Duplessie | Apr 24, 2016 | Jay Duplessie
Being a dad has literally been the single greatest gift of my entire life. And in addition to having these two amazing little people to walk through life with laughing all the way, I am also finding that witnessing their reactions to the world around them has shown me a lot about myself as well. I’m grateful daily for all of the experiences i have had with them and hope for a hundred more years of it !
This week (if you don’t live in Denver and already know) we were POUNDED with a Spring Blizzard. This is pretty typical for Denver and I have personally seen it happen 5 times in 20 years that I have been here. 75 degrees a few days ago and today I’m looking at 2 feet of the heaviest snow you’ve ever seen !! But the bright side is it’s been the best way to create some incredible memories =) Blueberry Pancakes for Breakfast, FRESH homemade chocolate chip cookies after some hard work shoveling snow, and now back under the blankets for a few movies before bed. The kids and i have a great life, that’s for sure. It’s everything I could ever ask for………..but NOT what I expected. You see, my “expectations” were that I would be doing these things along side my partner, wife, and best friend. But life has a way of realigning things that don’t always fit with your original “Expectations.” And you know what, sometimes it takes a little while before you can understand that life did in fact know what was best for you =)
So for this week, I wanted to take a spinning related topic and tie it in with the personal side of “expectations.” And in typical form, I will try and give “my” take on the idea of expectations and explain how I am using this idea to further my journey towards a greater, fuller, life !! =)
So I’ve already explained my “personal” thoughts on expectations, but here is an example of how I witnessed “expectations” this week in relation to spinning.
I’m fortunate enough to be at a club who just got brand new bikes for the second time in just over a year. We are now moving to using Power and so this second set of bikes is going to help the instructors teach more accurately. And since I am not here to promote any gym or manufacturer of bikes, I won’t say the kind of bikes. But I will say these are without a doubt the best bike I have ridden in 20 years. In addition, in 20 years I have seen new bikes delivered close to 10 times and each time have witnesses a near meltdown each time from the members. It seems that the expectations almost always exceed what is actually delivered. And some years, I agreed. Some bikes weren’t always accepted right away because let’s face it, no one likes change.
This set of bikes have only been on site for a couple of weeks and without a doubt have been the fastest and most accepted bike that I have seen in 20 years. Easily 90% or more LOVE these things……….but there’s still that 10% who are picking them apart for some of the silliest things. It’s as if they can’t help but look for the negatives no matter how many positives there are. And personally, I am so impressed with the positives that I find the negatives so minor and wonder why people can’t just enjoy the gift. And so it got me thinking………..thinking deeply about that word expectations and how it is probably the root cause of so much sadness and emptiness in this world. So I’m going to make a bold assumption/statement and suggest a solution that may not be politically correct or widely accepted. So here goes…….
So have you ever wondered if our (the majority of the people in the US) “expectations” are too high ? I never thought I would be one of those people who blamed TV and Media for the worlds woes, but I’m starting to wonder. I mean, I came from the Nancy Reagan error where she told us that a certain kind of music caused us to take drugs. Or the Dan Quail error (or Maybe it was Al Gore) who warned us about “Family Values” being a thing of the past ! And each time I heard it, especially from Nancy Reagan because I was a Hair Band Heavy Metal guy and didn’t want to hear that my Ozzie and Judist Priest were going to cause me to go to hell lol But as I sit here now, I have to ask myself if maybe some of what they say is true ??
The reason I find myself thinking from this much different perspective now is because I am honestly starting to believe that we are fed so much crap on TV about how easy it is to get famous, Rich, and have it all, YET no one is teaching anyone how to do it the right way. What ever happened to hard work and dedication ? And what ever happened to finding your talent or passion and working it until you found success ? I feel like so much of the younger generation have this kind of Entitlement feeling and worse than that, this attitude like it’s supposed to be easy and if you don’t achieve it right away then they give up and bitch and complain.
Turn on the TV any time of the day and I have no doubt that no matter who you are or where you live, you will be able to EASILY find 5 shows that are glamorizing life by showing opulent wealth and easy living, but not a dam explanation of how the person got any of it. “Real Housewives?” Really ?? What’s so real about them ?? Or how about the versions of Jersey Shore, Shaws of LA, all of the realtor shows where the realtor makes a single sale and grosses $250,000 !?!?!?!? I mean think about that !! If your a young person now a days who never saw (like I did) a Grandfather who worked 3 jobs, got up every day at 4:30 am to deliver mail. And on retirement got a gold watch and was absolutely over the top grateful for it !!!! I think most 25 year old these days would look at that and laugh. They could never understand how that could be how my grandfather defined success for himself. But the youth today act as if the want instant fame, instant success, they don’t want to have to work for it and if they HAVE to work for it than they don’t want to work long and they sure as hell don’t expect to fail. And of course if they do, well it’s not their fault, it’s someone else's. Could it be that we have taught ourselves to have “expectations” that are always unreachable and is that the cause of so much sadness in the world ? I mean, are we all setting the bar above what we can actually achieve and therefore setting ourselves up for constant failure and emptiness ??
So my lesson to myself this week goes something like this. I am going to accept all of my current situations just as they are. I am going to re-evaluate the list of expectations i have for myself and my life, and I am going to be sure that I’m being realistic in those expectations. And for those who think this is the equivalent of “Sand Bagging” life and making it easy to succeed, i would day this; “Do you want to be fulfilled or do you want to spend your life complaining about all the things you didn’t get ? I truly believe that finding more realistic expectations for yourself and the people around you will create much more of an abundant life. Instead of defining success as “having all the things Kim Kardashian has” define it by how happy you are on a daily basis with what you already have! Look at the Kardashians and all of their “success and wealth” and ask yourself “what did they do to get all of that !?” Seriously, for my generation who saw what it took for our grandparents to be able to buy a home and put kids through school, it’s absolutely MADDENING to turn on the TV and see these spoiled Rotten women with no talent who are providing nothing of substance to the world who make more in one day for doing nothing than my Grandfather did on his best year.
So my plan is to set expectations that are just out of reach “BUT ARE ATTAINABLE” if i put the work in to achieve those things. No more unrealistic expectations and no more “wishing it into existence.” From now on I’m focused on reaching ALL my goals and I am done beating myself up for not attaining the ones that may have been a little too aggressive based on my current situation in life. I haven’t given up my my largest and wildest dreams, BUT I think I’m going to collect a few wins in my basket before I beat myself up too much over the out of reach things that haven’t hit yet. Will you join me ?
Peace-
Jay K. Duplessie
by Jay Duplessie | Mar 30, 2016 | Motivation
“I'M” in there !!!
As most of you reading this (if you have children or Nieces/Nephews) probably witnessed this weekend, many kids were rummaging through every nook and cranny of pretty much every home in the US lol and MY house was no exception. As I always do, I went a bit overboard with the number of eggs and my poor kids got tired of looking after about 45 minutes lol But the tradition this year gave me a way to explain what I “tried” to explain to my doctor last week regarding my health and fitness.
I was sort of lazy this year and relied on Wal Mart to fill my eggs. Did you know they sell plastic eggs already filled with goodies (aka – horribly saturated sugar products dipped in sugar and dies, and wrapped in chemical laden plastic wrappers ((sad face))) !?!? The plus side to this is it saved me 2 hours of filling eggs. The downside is that I had no idea what was in any of those eggs. Some were large and colorful while others where small and pretty plain looking. But the items inside were all exactly the same. So no matter how much my two kids fought over the “Cool” looking eggs, when they sat to open them for the treasures they wound up with the same exact candies lolBut watching this all take place gave me an idea and reminded me of something I used to say ALL the time back when I began teaching. I'm going to try and put it into words now …….. 😉
Last week I met with a new doctor to discuss some therapy for my back, a new food plan to work with whatever the results are from my new blood work, and some exercises to do at home so that I can try and fix my back because waking up every day feeling like a 90 yr old man is getting very very old ! (Pun intended)
During the first visit we spent over an hour discussing my Healthy History, my diet, my workouts prior, and pretty much everything right down to how many times I “evacuate” each day/week. And yes, “evacuate” means what you think it does haha And the more questions he asked that related to how I feel on a day to day basis, the more I become discouraged and absolutely shocked that it took me this long to seek help because I can see now the YEARS of healthy living I have missed out on. I guess it's like boiling a frog in water. They “say” if you put him in when it's cold, and heat up slowly, he won't jump out and won't know he's slowly dieing =( Well that is how I got here. Started with occasional back pulls, to mid day pain, so all day pain, to CONSTANT pain. I've let it become a way of life. But here is what I was trying to explain to him but couldn't find a clear way to say it, and also what watching the eggs being opened made me think of ………….
Most of the day I feel like I'm 65, in the morning I feel 90, and on a good day with the right dose of pain meds and decent weather (yes cold and rainy days make it hurt more ???) I can feel as YOUNG as 55 haha BUT in any given week during the middle of my 90 minute class right up until I finish and shower, I feel 25 !!!!!!!! The energy, the workout, the blood flow, the bent over posture stretching my back, WHATEVER it is, it makes me feel young !! So what I was “TRYING” to tell this doctor was that sure, I feel sore, old, and in constant discomfort simply from sitting, BUT I also have moments when I feel healthy, strong, and young and I am in THE SAME EXACT BODY THAT GIVES ME CONSTANT PAIN !!??????!!!! WTF !!!! That 25 year old IS IN THERE somewhere and so I know I am capable to feel that way. It's not like I feel 90 every day, all the time. I know that under some circumstances I am able to access a younger, stronger me. So if “I'M” in there, then it's not a matter of giving up because I am just old and used up, it's simply a matter of figuring out how to access that part of me more. it's about removing all the things that put me into feeling unhealthy so I can be “healthy” more often. And as I write this now, I still feel as though I am not getting my point across !! haha.
Let's try this. Imagine you have to go and race in a huge event. And someone “donates” a car to you to use in this race. And imagine you go to check it out and it looks like one of those VERY OLD and rusty cars from the era of the TV show Happy Days. AAAAAAAAAAA lol (That was a Fonzy reference for you young pups lol) Well I feel like that old and rusty car, BUT at a closer examination I find that the outer “Shell” is the old rusty car, BUT under it hidden well is a fully loaded, brand new, shiny and sleek Lamborghini and all I have to do is remove the out shell ! Point being that I don't need to sand down and paint the rust, because the vehicle I need is already there and ready to go. I just need the right tools to take off the out shell. make sense ?
So the eggs are what made me think about the idea that the outer shell in MY case has very little to do with the inner. It reminded me how I've heard many many times over the years that a skinny thin person is NOT necessarily “healthier” than someone carrying a few extra pounds. And it reminded me to look at the fact that sometimes the treasure/candy/prize inside is that I DO HAVE THAT YOUNGER ME STILL HANGING AROUND AND READY TO PRODUCE !!!!
I then recalled something that I used to say ALLLLL the time in class. Back when I spent time and money going to seminars and motivational speakers. I used to say that at the end of every workout I want them feeling “Better than when they walked in” and to ANCHOR that feeling to the SPIN ROOM. That everything we did to feel so good at the end of class, and all the pride and passion for giving so much was the result of them working so hard. I would say that I don't have any magic power, that their water wasn't spiked, the air didn't have any special potion, and my music wasn't filled with subliminal messages haha and that EVERYTHING they accomplished during that 90 minutes was a result of THEIR efforts, THEIR Drive, and THEY could access THIS feeling and THIS level of being ANY TIME they wanted because I didn't provide anything more than the music and a few stories. THEY accessed this superhuman feeling all on their own and it's always in there if you know how to activate it !!
As instructors we can all attest to having 2 to 5 people before every class coming to us and saying things like “I have to leave early or “my knee isn't feeling great so I won't be pushing too hard” so it's a very thin line that separates the “US the instructor” from “US the motivator.” So please know that I am not promoting unsafe practices when I say this, but I think for me personally I need to do a better job at hearing the “excuse” and seeing if there is a way to kick their class off in a better way. I think I will start being more active in this way. I think instead of just nodding my head, I will now tell the people who have to leave early that I want from them “X” percent more effort from them in the shorter time they will be in class. And I will be totally serious. They come to us for guidance, and that's a fact. If they just wanted to peddle they could do it when class was done and the room was empty right ? They come to us expecting that WE know what they need to grow, to be healthy. They don't need another enabler to say “It's ok, just do enough.” And when someone tells me they are going to take it easy due to a pain somewhere, I am going to dig deeper. Should they be at class at all ? Will them being there only make for more injury later on and then a total inability to take class ? Is there injury a result of bad spinning ? Or can I listen to the persons and figure out what changes they could make to do something different that will HELP them. Maybe a simple change in the seat, handle bars, or cadence can give them an equally kick ass workout while NOT making the possible injury worse. The only issue I see is these comments usually come 90 seconds before class starts, and so now where I need to do a warm up, and ftp test, all before I can officially run my program, I am not sure I can always address the issue before that class, BUT can make a better effort to see them after class for as long as they need OR tell them to come early before my next class =) Because as I find myself on this new journey to regain my youth and get back to the inspired and motivational person I once was, I am finding that so much of the changes that I need to make would be equally as powerful to others if I can find a way to deliver the message.
One more thing. I just watched the lance Armstrong movie “The Program” which I just thought of when I typed “My Program” above. I have seen at least 10 documentaries on his story but this one was a dramatic movie with actors telling the story. And when I think about it, it kind of fits into this story right ? That the “package” on the outside doesn't always match what's inside. Just like those Easter eggs my kids opened. It didn't matter how big or colorful the eggs were, because the inside was always the same. But what makes this message really powerful in my eyes is that WE can control what's inside the egg. If I wasn't so lazy, I could have spent more time and energy and filled those eggs with better (healthier) treasures right?? Its the same with my body, my health, and even my classes. I am more committed now than ever that I can and will put more effort into everything that I do because I want to be the egg that shocks haha. I want to be the old wrinkly eggs that when opened up blows your mind with what's inside. When you open my egg I want you to hear that THX SOUND they play at the beginning of the movie and have all the power, energy, and color you could ever imagine. Like in the Pulp Fiction movie when they open the case and a beautiful light glows from the case lol Because I'm much to young to feel this damn old haha !!
So I still haven't heard from anyone (PLEASE READ LAST WEEKS POST) regarding my concern that my posts aren't hitting home. I am throwing this out there again this week. If I don't hear from at least 5 people saying they are reading this, then I am going to gracefully bow out so someone with a more appropriate message can fill this page for you, the reader =) I love writing these posts, BUT in all honesty its been difficult to get them done in time AND I find that I am not writing with my heart and thoughts all in for fear of offending people or not being positive enough . So the stories don't come out with my complete thought process and s maybe it's missing the mark. What can I say, sometimes I want to write how I feel and say things like “THIS” situation sucks rather than tell a pretty story about why it doesn't lol I want to say both things, even if it means that my post isn't all roses and candies haha because sometimes for me what makes me take massive action is to get mad as hell at the way something is. So if 5 or more people message me and say they are actually reading these posts, then I will keep going. But with zero feedback after all these months, I can only assume that no one has been moved and my focus needs to be somewhere else. ZERO hard feelings, I promise. But I am committed to doing only the things I love (if possible) and that create something that makes things better. And to do that, I need to have feedback in some fashion to know, otherwise I am just a guy struggling to fill a page up with random thoughts that only have meaning to me and for that i can just get a diary =) So direct message me to J
kduplessie@
gmail.com and just say as much or as little as you want to so that I know if this is all worth continuing.
I hope you are all having an AMAZING week and I can't wait to roll out the newer, healthier, me by summer !!! =) Just in time to meet the women of my dreams !! I'm creating an environment inside and around me to attract someone amazing. I've already proven the opposite can happen =)
Peace.
Jay
by Jay Duplessie | Mar 15, 2016 | Jay Duplessie, Motivation
I've been doing a lot of things lately to help with my Health and Fitness (both mental and physical health) and today had an epiphany………at least for me lol
I happen to put on the Secret in the background while I worked. If you read earlier posts, I have given up listening to conspiracy documentaries and so I need something to replace that with. haha And although I have watched or listened to the secret 50 times, I can honestly say I have never watched it with this same insight and understanding of my current situation and so I feel as though this time I may get something new from the experience =)
So it gets to the part where Jack Canfield mentions his $100,000 check that he manifests and how he “had the idea while getting out of the shower.” This time though, that part of the movie spoke to me. And so I want to describe why and then attempt to tie it into being an instructor.
One of my big “Musts” for this year and all future years is to create a lifestyle of less financial stress, a more youthful energy and healthier body, and to find a way to spend more time with my kids and doing what I love. I know, I know, that's EVERY BODIES musts haha Maybe so, but I really think that as I have aged, my definition of all those things differ greatly from what I used to think and probably even MORE from what most people (especially younger) would say to define the things on my list. With age comes experience and with experience comes knowledge. If only it was reversed haha
Anyway, back to what happened for me when I heard him describe that “Out of shower experience.” It hit me that what I am going through in this very moment is what can (and Will) propel me to the things that I want, or will at least help me attain them. You see, I have wanted to be a public speaker for over 25 years. I literally would attend work conferences over a weekend and when most people skipped most speakers, I went out of my way to sit thru half of one, just so I could catch the second half of another. I would study them and how they spoke. I'd look for what worked for them and when people became engaged, AS WELL AS when they dis-engaged. I was convinced that it was my path !! But at the age of 45, the only speaking I get to do is to my kids when doing story time, OR to my class when I teach. Very fulfilling, but not ultimately what I think of when I dream of being a speaker.
One of the things, if not THE thing that has stopped me from going out and doing this is complete lack of confidence in this area. NOT lack of confidence in speaking, not at all. All I do is talk and I have a million stories and ideas !!! It's the lack of confidence in my ability to convince someone that I know what the hell I am taking about !! Why would someone listen to me and believe I have the answer to anything (is the words that echo in my head when I think of trying to visualize this as a career for me). And for YEARS I would tell myself “Jay you just need a story. Something bad has to happen to you that you overcome and THEN people will believe you have a clue.” Thoughts of getting cancer and beating it, or surviving a Plane crash, or even a hostage situation is ALL that I need to get peoples attention !!! I know, CRAZZZZZZYYYY !! lol
Then in 2008 the financial meltdown happened and I lost everything. Suddenly almost overnight everything I believed about my ability to be successful in business was gone. I tried for years to get hired back at what I used to do before starting my business but no one would hire me. Gained weight, stopped putting myself out there, and pretty much stopped believing I could recover. The “Motivational Speaker” dream suffered it's first serious blow.
Flash forward to two years ago and without wasting time on the details, let's just say that when I was FINALLY getting my feet back under me and starting to believe I could recapture the person I once thought I could be, life dealt me another major blow and this one was worse. My whole belief system on trust and love and commitment completely imploded and this turned me into someone who literally found myself saying “What's the fucking point??” DO NOT mis-read that !! I wasn't suicidal, not even close !! I was more of the feeling that why build up too many hopes and dreams because the Universe is gonna dish up whatever it dishes up and you just got to sit there and eat it. I mean when the person you gave everything to and who you trusted more than anyone ever on this earth shows you that you DO NOT matter overnight, it's kind of hard to look at the people around you that didn't play nearly as crucial a role in your life and assume they are going to do any better at being a true friend/partner/spouse, etc. So basically I have been fighting my way back for almost two years to a place where I want to believe that anything is STILL possible and want to give up on the negative baggage that I have carried for WAY too long !!
So now that you know the back story, I can tell you my “Big Epiphany” haha I have decided that my Journey, or my ROAD TO RECOVERY, is going to be my story !!! In a way, killing two birds with one big ass stone !!! I am going to take everything I am doing over the last month (You have to go read earlier posts if you want to know what I'm doing) and I am going to get myself to a place SO SUCCESSFUL that someone is going to ask how I did that and THEN not only will have have the end result to show them, I will ALSO have the road map I took to get there ! So NOW I will have the story to present to people, NOW I will have the story to write in books, NOW I will have the proof that I not only believed in the things that I read and practiced but I also DID those things and THAT is how and why I am happier, healthier, and have MY KIND of wealth which oddly enough doesn't consist of airplanes and yachts but instead looks more like a family life where we all go to bed with a warm blanket, full bellies, all bills being paid, and 3 to 4 weeks of family vacation. That is wealth to me these days.
The reason this whole plan speaks to me in conjunction with us as instructors is that we all teach or instruct based mostly on whatever format we were trained. We all use charts for Zone, BPM for heart rate, and so on. I would also bet that we all throw in a little of our own nuggets of knowledge too. If you're a triathlete or professional cyclist on the side than maybe what you add is something technical. If you're a story teller like me than maybe you add a quote that inspires someone to sprint harder. Who knows. But I ask you this……….are you sharing enough “nuggets” ?? Think outside the box on that one. Do you finish class and over hear someone telling their friend about an issue that you have been through and one which you could provide insight ? I mean, sure we always get the person asking “what do I do if my calf cramps up” and we have to answer those. But how many missed opportunities are there each class where you could spot something you have experience in and solve that problem just by showing this person “you've been there and this is how I fixed it.” ?????? It could be something in how they peddle, something in how they breath, or maybe even something more personal like parenting or spousal issues. I'm not sure when we gave up the reigns to facebook for solving every ones problems but I can tell you from experience that the best advise is hearing it face to face from someone who has been there and has the scars to prove it. Now go give out some NUGGETS !! Peace.
by Jay Duplessie | Mar 8, 2016 | Jay Duplessie
Focus is like…….
So this weeks post is going to be more of an “update” to last weeks. Hopefully you read my story last week about searching for things to introduce into my daily routine, as well as REMOVE stuff from the Daily routine so that I can lift my energy and vibration in this world =) So I have a one week progress report and a quick analogy I came up with for “What Meditation is for me.”
So first of all, the hardest past has been to remember to take all of those damn supplements every morning. Fish oils, Herbs, Drops, etc etc etc. Ugh. I wonder if this is truly as much a pain as I am making it out to be, OR if we (society) is just SOOOOO conditioned to strip out the processes of every day things into one FAST and Quick step. Could I be annoyed by having to pick through 4 bottles and 2 droppers every day to take my supplements because a part of me is saying in the background “Go get a one time monthly shot” or “Find a pill that has everything in one.” Who knows, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I dread every morning having to go and take all that stuff haha Maybe I’m just lazy haha
But I have done a decent job at staying away from YouTube and negative documentaries on the economy and our corrupt government =)
Still very much into wearing the Crystals and have started to place others around the house. No way of telling if that is helping BUT if you are interested in hearing something a little “supernatural” that happened than direct message me and I will share something pretty mind blowing =)
By far though what has been the most fun and interesting has been the Meditation !! As I said in my post last week, mediation has always been hard for me because I can’t shut down my brain. So I made a dark room under my basement stairs and have been listening to “3D Guided Meditation” recordings and it is blowing me away !! Can’t say I have had any changes yet in my overall mood/vibration but I am definitely not only learning how to meditate BUT am also finding out that I don’t have to “Shut my brain” to meditate, I only need to focus the chatter to more specific thing(s). Let me try to explain with my analogy of how I have started to look at meditation. Maybe there are people like me reading this who never really fully understood meditations process and maybe this will help. Maybe I am way off base with what it is, but this is what has helped me so there must be some truth to it =)
So here is how I kind of see my day/life in “Analogy” format haha I imagine that I am in this VERY large conference room with lets say 100 people all looking at me and talking to me about 100 different topics. Can you imagine just how confusing and stressful that would be ? I feel like the number has grown over the years too lol But we (society) all do out best to listen, answer, and record as much of that barrage of information throw at us all day right !! No wonder we are so stressed we have forgotten how to relax.
So when someone mentioned mediation to me years ago, I was like “there’s no way” that I could do it. My mind was thinking about the 100 people in the conference room all trying to tell me 100 different stories, and NOW I am expected to go sit in a corner and ignore those 100 people and try to shut off my brain ??!! Impossible haha.
Now let’s imagine that towards the end of the day, or first thing in the morning, or even mid day, all of those people start to funnel out of the room to give you some peace and quite. Would it be a bit easier to meditate ?? You bet your ripped sexy ass it would be (all spinners have tight asses right?? LOL)
So that was my first step/process that I implemented. I made sure to find the best time for me to meditate. Rather than try and squeeze it in any ole place, I chose to do it at night before bed and after the kids are asleep. This is the best time for me, but for you it could be totally different. The point is though to fit it in where it works best and don’t try to FORCE it when you know you can’t empty the conference room lol I mean LITERALLY Imagine your thoughts are a conference room and if that chatter is too loud, then choose a better time.
So I found the second step by mistake. I did a great job at finding the best time to do this (Late at night) and I have total darkness from the Black Room under the stairs (creeeeepy lol). And as you recall, I even put Lilac sent in that room to remind me of my childhood because of the big lilac bush at our hour that bloomed each summer. Anyway, what happened was I did such a great job at “Clearing the conference room” that I found myself in this empty “Conference Room” with nothing to say and no one to talk to =( I was lost haha So, metaphorically speaking” I invited one person back in, and I had a conversation. Let me leave it at that because I could go on for pages and pages about what worked for me, but that has no baring on what may help you. Bottom line is, if you’re like me than try some of these ideas when you get to that point of focus and clarity, invite in one of those thoughts (people) and have a conversation. If it’s health, talk health. Repeat words that give you power ! Flash images in your mind of the people you love, or the faces of your kids. What ever the topic is for that mediation, go ahead and create an image of a person and just have a conversation !! It’s amazing what it can do. Basically it’s free therapy haha
I’m going to keep my post short this week because 1. I have family in town till tomorrow and 2. I am just beginning my spiritual journey and I don’t have proven results just yet. So rather than steer someone wrong, I think it best if I just throw out little bits and let you start experimenting on your own.
As far as tying this all into spinning, I can pretty much sum it up like this. The Spin room is the “Conference Room” in my Analogy and even though the people in our Spin room aren’t (supposed) to be verbally talking to you, they ARE talking to you. The majority of our communication is said to be non verbal, so be sure you are reading the signs ! Look for someone struggling and figure out why ! Find someone juiced and happy about life EVERY TIME YOU SEE THEM and ask why so that you can (if you haven’t already) be as happy or happier !!! Look for someone riding in an awkward position and make sure they aren’t fighting thru an injury they aren’t aware of. If my definition of Meditation is even close to right, and so far it’s working for me so it must be on the right track, than our classes are a great place to meditate. A Great way to exchange energy, power, ideas, Vibration !! A great place to practice finding our focus, and creating better ways of pulling our heads out of Facebook and all other Social Media so that we can connect with the people around us. Because you don’t have to like everyone in this life, but I have always believed that every person has at least one important thing to share with you from their Journey that can help you with yours.
Peace !!
by Jay Duplessie | Feb 29, 2016 | Jay Duplessie
Are we done yet………..and do we WANT to be ??
The other day I was leaving the mall in my truck. I’m sitting at an intersection waiting for a car who was stopped and waiting to go, when in fact she had no stop sign and so should have driven right through. I sat there patiently waiting for her to figure it out and when she did I started to move into the intersection. Then, out of nowhere ANOTHER car comes barrelassing up behind the car that just sent and nearly crashes into me. Now, this second car saw me, and was much further back, but as most people these days seem to do, she saw me and needed to make a point that “it was her right of way.” So I got mid intersection where she almost tee-boned me and looked right into her car. She was losing her shit!! I mean REALLY losing her shit. There was a teenage girl in the passenger side too. Oh, and did I mention it was a sunny 72 degrees here in Mid-February? A day that most people should feel Joyous and happy?
Our cars were not going fast enough to hurt anyone, and probably barely make a dent. All that happened was some inpatient lady with a chip saw that I was in HER intersection and so she SPED up to make a point that it was her right of way. She wasn’t there to see that myself and the person on the opposing side of me had been sitting there patiently waiting for the prior lady to move. But people in this world today are in such a rush, and totally addicted to being first so they can hurry up and finish. As if me being in that intersection costs her 2 full seconds of her life and in doing so would make her world crumble.
Flash forward 20 minutes later and I’m in the parking garage at Ikea. I drive a big Escalade SUV and so I try to find wide spaces to park. I’m ready to pull in and out of the corner of my eye I see a space 3 spaces closer to the front entrance……….so I stop my turn and drive further to the closest spot. Ummmmmmm, didn’t I essentially just do the same thing that lady did to me earlier? Granted I went about it differently but in a way it was the same thing. As if parking 3 spaces closer was going to save me any time at all. So it got me thinking………….why are we in such a hurry all of the time to “finish.”
I love standup comedy and this story reminded me of one of his bits. The comedian’s name is X and he’s kind of known as being the Albino looking good. If you know him, then when I say “Hot Pockeeeeeeettttssss” you’re laughing your ass off haha Anyway, he does a really funny bit about the gym and how he hates working out. How he likes to go on a treadmill but watch the person next to him’s TV lol But the funny part that reminds me of this goes something like:
“You ever see those guys at the gym who are all buff with no body fat and whose muscles are huge and glistening with sweat? Sometimes I want to just go up to those guys and say “Hey dude, what are you doing here……YOU’RE DONE!!” lol
As funny as that is, it actually makes a great point for my post this week. Think about why we go to the gym and why we work out so hard. Of course we have goals whether it be too loose weight, or gain muscle, or fix our cholesterol, BUT there really is never an “I’m done” moment right? Who would want that !?!?! We do these things for important goals for sure, but in addition it’s the workout that we are after too. NOT just the reward. So why the hell would we ever want to rush through a workout?
Now just substitute the word “Workout” with “Journey” or “LIFE” and read it one more time. Are you (like me) one of those people busting your ass to finish something JUST SO YOU CAN MOVE ONTO SOMETHING ELSE!?!?!? How’s that serving you ? I’ll tell you this, I haven’t felt like I was “DONE” with anything for probably 40 years !! lol Can you even remember a time when you sat on the couch and went “huh, that’s odd….I’m done and I have nothing else to do and nowhere to be.” If you get to that point than I am sorry to say that YOU’RE DEAD.” =(
Often when I write one of these posts (if not always) it comes from a personal place and something that I experienced that week. And I’ve been pretty transparent up until now with my posts so I why stop now haha. So last week I found myself in a dark rut that try as I may I could not climb out of. I was miserable and had NO reason to be. There was nothing I could point to and say “This is making me sad” or “This person is hurting me.” It was just a black cloud over my head that wouldn’t leave for 4 days. Then this whole incident with the crazy chick almost hitting me at the mall that got me thinking about time, the journey, the rush to try and finish when “finishing” isn’t the goal. Within a few hours I had a long list of changes I am going to start doing in my life and as of today most of them are implemented. Some are basic like new foods and natural supplements I started taking today. But some are out of the box for me and a couple I want to share just in case anyone reading this ever feels this way or knows someone who can relate.
First, I took myself off of Facebook for a while. It is amazing how the amount of time we spend on there can start to creep up. The constant need to look at your phone to see if there are any updates. So there’s 3 more hours to my day to start living!! lol
Second, I removed myself from all dating sites. When you email 100 people and 99 ignore you, it’s time to say “it ain’t working for you kid.” Lol As someone who believes deeply in the law of attraction and the vibration of energy, I have ZERO doubt that the constant rejection by 99% of the women I reached out to was definitely playing a part in my low vibration and energy. So poof, closed them all.
Third, and this was a big one, I stopped watching YouTube conspiracy documentaries. It’s like a drug, first you start with the JFK Conspiracy ones and before you know it you are watching the “Flat Earth Society” and all the folks who are warning of the Elites trying to take over the world and shrink the population to 500 million people worldwide (We currently sit at close to 9 billion). And don’t get me started on the ones about the cancer causing poisons in our food, water, clothes, toys, furniture, etc. etc. etc. By the end of every day I was finding myself exhausted, rejected, and scared to death of everything and anything that I ate, wore, or breathed. No wonder I felt like poop!
But the fourth thing is the one I want to share most. And this is something that I never thought I would be able to do. My research in how to get my center back brought to me a lot of people saying the mediation is the best thing you could ever do for your health, mood, and soul. Being someone who can’t shut his brain off, meditation never seemed to work for me. BUT I think I found a way for all of you type “A” personality people out there like me =) Read below and try it out because for the first time I finally felt like I may be able to do this!!!!
Here’s what I did. Do some or all of this and try it before making fun:
I created a dark room in my house. Under the stairs in the finished basement is a small crawl space about 4 feet high and 5 x 8 deep and wide. I covered all walls and ceilings with BLACK sheets and a shag black carpet. I got BLACK pillows and LOTS of blankets under the carpet to make it soft. I then got Aroma Therapy scents that do not have any light to them. I didn’t get the aroma therapy stuff for its chemical therapy because I am not sure I am there yet with regards to believing haha. I got them because I wanted a smell that would remind me of when I was a little boy with hardly any worries. For me that smell was/is Lilac bushes. I smell that and immediately find myself back on that one way street in NH where I lived when I was about 6 yrs. old.
Then, and THIS is by far the most “out of the box” thing I have ever tried in my life, I went and bought some Crystals and some Organite. Look it up and judge for yourself. It’s too new for me to even speculate whether this is real or fake so do your own research.
Finally, I found some meditation music and some guided mediations to listen to. If you believe in this stuff, then you don’t want to have your cell phone or any wireless devices near you. So for me I have regular headphones with a long wire and press play before I go into my room.
So I get this tiny little dark room under my basement stairs all finished and as I stand back I realize that what looks like a dark mediation room for me, may look like a kill room from an episode of DEXTER to someone else haha. But I used it and it worked!! I gave it 45 minutes and spent all of that time repeating to myself that “I WILL ENJOY THE JOURNEY, I WILL EXPERIENCE THE RIDE, AND I WILL NOT BE FINISHED FOR A LONG LONG TIME AND THAT IS A GOOD THING SO STOP RACING THROUGH LIFE!” My Mantra may be much different from yours, doesn’t matter. But if you’re like me and you need to find ways to stop rushing to the “next thing” than I highly suggest trying meditation. And don’t forget to look at what you do in a day and see what “non-helpful” things you can get rid of to make more time for the juice!!
“HI, my name is Jay and I am now a recovering over-doer who is learning that life is about me being able to slow down every so often even if it means I’m late getting to something else.” I plan to be around to dance with my grandchildren and I hope you are too!! Peace!!
Jay
