"I'M" in there !!!
As most of you reading this (if you have children or Nieces/Nephews) probably witnessed this weekend, many kids were rummaging through every nook and cranny of pretty much every home in the US lol and MY house was no exception. As I always do, I went a bit overboard with the number of eggs and my poor kids got tired of looking after about 45 minutes lol But the tradition this year gave me a way to explain what I "tried" to explain to my doctor last week regarding my health and fitness.
I was sort of lazy this year and relied on Wal Mart to fill my eggs. Did you know they sell plastic eggs already filled with goodies (aka - horribly saturated sugar products dipped in sugar and dies, and wrapped in chemical laden plastic wrappers ((sad face))) !?!? The plus side to this is it saved me 2 hours of filling eggs. The downside is that I had no idea what was in any of those eggs. Some were large and colorful while others where small and pretty plain looking. But the items inside were all exactly the same. So no matter how much my two kids fought over the "Cool" looking eggs, when they sat to open them for the treasures they wound up with the same exact candies lolBut watching this all take place gave me an idea and reminded me of something I used to say ALL the time back when I began teaching. I'm going to try and put it into words now ........ 😉
Last week I met with a new doctor to discuss some therapy for my back, a new food plan to work with whatever the results are from my new blood work, and some exercises to do at home so that I can try and fix my back because waking up every day feeling like a 90 yr old man is getting very very old ! (Pun intended)
During the first visit we spent over an hour discussing my Healthy History, my diet, my workouts prior, and pretty much everything right down to how many times I "evacuate" each day/week. And yes, "evacuate" means what you think it does haha And the more questions he asked that related to how I feel on a day to day basis, the more I become discouraged and absolutely shocked that it took me this long to seek help because I can see now the YEARS of healthy living I have missed out on. I guess it's like boiling a frog in water. They "say" if you put him in when it's cold, and heat up slowly, he won't jump out and won't know he's slowly dieing =( Well that is how I got here. Started with occasional back pulls, to mid day pain, so all day pain, to CONSTANT pain. I've let it become a way of life. But here is what I was trying to explain to him but couldn't find a clear way to say it, and also what watching the eggs being opened made me think of .............
Most of the day I feel like I'm 65, in the morning I feel 90, and on a good day with the right dose of pain meds and decent weather (yes cold and rainy days make it hurt more ???) I can feel as YOUNG as 55 haha BUT in any given week during the middle of my 90 minute class right up until I finish and shower, I feel 25 !!!!!!!! The energy, the workout, the blood flow, the bent over posture stretching my back, WHATEVER it is, it makes me feel young !! So what I was "TRYING" to tell this doctor was that sure, I feel sore, old, and in constant discomfort simply from sitting, BUT I also have moments when I feel healthy, strong, and young and I am in THE SAME EXACT BODY THAT GIVES ME CONSTANT PAIN !!??????!!!! WTF !!!! That 25 year old IS IN THERE somewhere and so I know I am capable to feel that way. It's not like I feel 90 every day, all the time. I know that under some circumstances I am able to access a younger, stronger me. So if "I'M" in there, then it's not a matter of giving up because I am just old and used up, it's simply a matter of figuring out how to access that part of me more. it's about removing all the things that put me into feeling unhealthy so I can be "healthy" more often. And as I write this now, I still feel as though I am not getting my point across !! haha.
Let's try this. Imagine you have to go and race in a huge event. And someone "donates" a car to you to use in this race. And imagine you go to check it out and it looks like one of those VERY OLD and rusty cars from the era of the TV show Happy Days. AAAAAAAAAAA lol (That was a Fonzy reference for you young pups lol) Well I feel like that old and rusty car, BUT at a closer examination I find that the outer "Shell" is the old rusty car, BUT under it hidden well is a fully loaded, brand new, shiny and sleek Lamborghini and all I have to do is remove the out shell ! Point being that I don't need to sand down and paint the rust, because the vehicle I need is already there and ready to go. I just need the right tools to take off the out shell. make sense ?
So the eggs are what made me think about the idea that the outer shell in MY case has very little to do with the inner. It reminded me how I've heard many many times over the years that a skinny thin person is NOT necessarily "healthier" than someone carrying a few extra pounds. And it reminded me to look at the fact that sometimes the treasure/candy/prize inside is that I DO HAVE THAT YOUNGER ME STILL HANGING AROUND AND READY TO PRODUCE !!!!
I then recalled something that I used to say ALLLLL the time in class. Back when I spent time and money going to seminars and motivational speakers. I used to say that at the end of every workout I want them feeling "Better than when they walked in" and to ANCHOR that feeling to the SPIN ROOM. That everything we did to feel so good at the end of class, and all the pride and passion for giving so much was the result of them working so hard. I would say that I don't have any magic power, that their water wasn't spiked, the air didn't have any special potion, and my music wasn't filled with subliminal messages haha and that EVERYTHING they accomplished during that 90 minutes was a result of THEIR efforts, THEIR Drive, and THEY could access THIS feeling and THIS level of being ANY TIME they wanted because I didn't provide anything more than the music and a few stories. THEY accessed this superhuman feeling all on their own and it's always in there if you know how to activate it !!
As instructors we can all attest to having 2 to 5 people before every class coming to us and saying things like "I have to leave early or "my knee isn't feeling great so I won't be pushing too hard" so it's a very thin line that separates the "US the instructor" from "US the motivator." So please know that I am not promoting unsafe practices when I say this, but I think for me personally I need to do a better job at hearing the "excuse" and seeing if there is a way to kick their class off in a better way. I think I will start being more active in this way. I think instead of just nodding my head, I will now tell the people who have to leave early that I want from them "X" percent more effort from them in the shorter time they will be in class. And I will be totally serious. They come to us for guidance, and that's a fact. If they just wanted to peddle they could do it when class was done and the room was empty right ? They come to us expecting that WE know what they need to grow, to be healthy. They don't need another enabler to say "It's ok, just do enough." And when someone tells me they are going to take it easy due to a pain somewhere, I am going to dig deeper. Should they be at class at all ? Will them being there only make for more injury later on and then a total inability to take class ? Is there injury a result of bad spinning ? Or can I listen to the persons and figure out what changes they could make to do something different that will HELP them. Maybe a simple change in the seat, handle bars, or cadence can give them an equally kick ass workout while NOT making the possible injury worse. The only issue I see is these comments usually come 90 seconds before class starts, and so now where I need to do a warm up, and ftp test, all before I can officially run my program, I am not sure I can always address the issue before that class, BUT can make a better effort to see them after class for as long as they need OR tell them to come early before my next class =) Because as I find myself on this new journey to regain my youth and get back to the inspired and motivational person I once was, I am finding that so much of the changes that I need to make would be equally as powerful to others if I can find a way to deliver the message.
One more thing. I just watched the lance Armstrong movie "The Program" which I just thought of when I typed "My Program" above. I have seen at least 10 documentaries on his story but this one was a dramatic movie with actors telling the story. And when I think about it, it kind of fits into this story right ? That the "package" on the outside doesn't always match what's inside. Just like those Easter eggs my kids opened. It didn't matter how big or colorful the eggs were, because the inside was always the same. But what makes this message really powerful in my eyes is that WE can control what's inside the egg. If I wasn't so lazy, I could have spent more time and energy and filled those eggs with better (healthier) treasures right?? Its the same with my body, my health, and even my classes. I am more committed now than ever that I can and will put more effort into everything that I do because I want to be the egg that shocks haha. I want to be the old wrinkly eggs that when opened up blows your mind with what's inside. When you open my egg I want you to hear that THX SOUND they play at the beginning of the movie and have all the power, energy, and color you could ever imagine. Like in the Pulp Fiction movie when they open the case and a beautiful light glows from the case lol Because I'm much to young to feel this damn old haha !!
So I still haven't heard from anyone (PLEASE READ LAST WEEKS POST) regarding my concern that my posts aren't hitting home. I am throwing this out there again this week. If I don't hear from at least 5 people saying they are reading this, then I am going to gracefully bow out so someone with a more appropriate message can fill this page for you, the reader =) I love writing these posts, BUT in all honesty its been difficult to get them done in time AND I find that I am not writing with my heart and thoughts all in for fear of offending people or not being positive enough . So the stories don't come out with my complete thought process and s maybe it's missing the mark. What can I say, sometimes I want to write how I feel and say things like "THIS" situation sucks rather than tell a pretty story about why it doesn't lol I want to say both things, even if it means that my post isn't all roses and candies haha because sometimes for me what makes me take massive action is to get mad as hell at the way something is. So if 5 or more people message me and say they are actually reading these posts, then I will keep going. But with zero feedback after all these months, I can only assume that no one has been moved and my focus needs to be somewhere else. ZERO hard feelings, I promise. But I am committed to doing only the things I love (if possible) and that create something that makes things better. And to do that, I need to have feedback in some fashion to know, otherwise I am just a guy struggling to fill a page up with random thoughts that only have meaning to me and for that i can just get a diary =) So direct message me to Jkduplessie
and just say as much or as little as you want to so that I know if this is all worth continuing.
I hope you are all having an AMAZING week and I can't wait to roll out the newer, healthier, me by summer !!! =) Just in time to meet the women of my dreams !! I'm creating an environment inside and around me to attract someone amazing. I've already proven the opposite can happen =)
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