by Jay Duplessie | Mar 8, 2016 | Jay Duplessie
Focus is like…….
So this weeks post is going to be more of an “update” to last weeks. Hopefully you read my story last week about searching for things to introduce into my daily routine, as well as REMOVE stuff from the Daily routine so that I can lift my energy and vibration in this world =) So I have a one week progress report and a quick analogy I came up with for “What Meditation is for me.”
So first of all, the hardest past has been to remember to take all of those damn supplements every morning. Fish oils, Herbs, Drops, etc etc etc. Ugh. I wonder if this is truly as much a pain as I am making it out to be, OR if we (society) is just SOOOOO conditioned to strip out the processes of every day things into one FAST and Quick step. Could I be annoyed by having to pick through 4 bottles and 2 droppers every day to take my supplements because a part of me is saying in the background “Go get a one time monthly shot” or “Find a pill that has everything in one.” Who knows, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I dread every morning having to go and take all that stuff haha Maybe I’m just lazy haha
But I have done a decent job at staying away from YouTube and negative documentaries on the economy and our corrupt government =)
Still very much into wearing the Crystals and have started to place others around the house. No way of telling if that is helping BUT if you are interested in hearing something a little “supernatural” that happened than direct message me and I will share something pretty mind blowing =)
By far though what has been the most fun and interesting has been the Meditation !! As I said in my post last week, mediation has always been hard for me because I can’t shut down my brain. So I made a dark room under my basement stairs and have been listening to “3D Guided Meditation” recordings and it is blowing me away !! Can’t say I have had any changes yet in my overall mood/vibration but I am definitely not only learning how to meditate BUT am also finding out that I don’t have to “Shut my brain” to meditate, I only need to focus the chatter to more specific thing(s). Let me try to explain with my analogy of how I have started to look at meditation. Maybe there are people like me reading this who never really fully understood meditations process and maybe this will help. Maybe I am way off base with what it is, but this is what has helped me so there must be some truth to it =)
So here is how I kind of see my day/life in “Analogy” format haha I imagine that I am in this VERY large conference room with lets say 100 people all looking at me and talking to me about 100 different topics. Can you imagine just how confusing and stressful that would be ? I feel like the number has grown over the years too lol But we (society) all do out best to listen, answer, and record as much of that barrage of information throw at us all day right !! No wonder we are so stressed we have forgotten how to relax.
So when someone mentioned mediation to me years ago, I was like “there’s no way” that I could do it. My mind was thinking about the 100 people in the conference room all trying to tell me 100 different stories, and NOW I am expected to go sit in a corner and ignore those 100 people and try to shut off my brain ??!! Impossible haha.
Now let’s imagine that towards the end of the day, or first thing in the morning, or even mid day, all of those people start to funnel out of the room to give you some peace and quite. Would it be a bit easier to meditate ?? You bet your ripped sexy ass it would be (all spinners have tight asses right?? LOL)
So that was my first step/process that I implemented. I made sure to find the best time for me to meditate. Rather than try and squeeze it in any ole place, I chose to do it at night before bed and after the kids are asleep. This is the best time for me, but for you it could be totally different. The point is though to fit it in where it works best and don’t try to FORCE it when you know you can’t empty the conference room lol I mean LITERALLY Imagine your thoughts are a conference room and if that chatter is too loud, then choose a better time.
So I found the second step by mistake. I did a great job at finding the best time to do this (Late at night) and I have total darkness from the Black Room under the stairs (creeeeepy lol). And as you recall, I even put Lilac sent in that room to remind me of my childhood because of the big lilac bush at our hour that bloomed each summer. Anyway, what happened was I did such a great job at “Clearing the conference room” that I found myself in this empty “Conference Room” with nothing to say and no one to talk to =( I was lost haha So, metaphorically speaking” I invited one person back in, and I had a conversation. Let me leave it at that because I could go on for pages and pages about what worked for me, but that has no baring on what may help you. Bottom line is, if you’re like me than try some of these ideas when you get to that point of focus and clarity, invite in one of those thoughts (people) and have a conversation. If it’s health, talk health. Repeat words that give you power ! Flash images in your mind of the people you love, or the faces of your kids. What ever the topic is for that mediation, go ahead and create an image of a person and just have a conversation !! It’s amazing what it can do. Basically it’s free therapy haha
I’m going to keep my post short this week because 1. I have family in town till tomorrow and 2. I am just beginning my spiritual journey and I don’t have proven results just yet. So rather than steer someone wrong, I think it best if I just throw out little bits and let you start experimenting on your own.
As far as tying this all into spinning, I can pretty much sum it up like this. The Spin room is the “Conference Room” in my Analogy and even though the people in our Spin room aren’t (supposed) to be verbally talking to you, they ARE talking to you. The majority of our communication is said to be non verbal, so be sure you are reading the signs ! Look for someone struggling and figure out why ! Find someone juiced and happy about life EVERY TIME YOU SEE THEM and ask why so that you can (if you haven’t already) be as happy or happier !!! Look for someone riding in an awkward position and make sure they aren’t fighting thru an injury they aren’t aware of. If my definition of Meditation is even close to right, and so far it’s working for me so it must be on the right track, than our classes are a great place to meditate. A Great way to exchange energy, power, ideas, Vibration !! A great place to practice finding our focus, and creating better ways of pulling our heads out of Facebook and all other Social Media so that we can connect with the people around us. Because you don’t have to like everyone in this life, but I have always believed that every person has at least one important thing to share with you from their Journey that can help you with yours.
Peace !!
by Jay Duplessie | Feb 29, 2016 | Jay Duplessie
Are we done yet………..and do we WANT to be ??
The other day I was leaving the mall in my truck. I’m sitting at an intersection waiting for a car who was stopped and waiting to go, when in fact she had no stop sign and so should have driven right through. I sat there patiently waiting for her to figure it out and when she did I started to move into the intersection. Then, out of nowhere ANOTHER car comes barrelassing up behind the car that just sent and nearly crashes into me. Now, this second car saw me, and was much further back, but as most people these days seem to do, she saw me and needed to make a point that “it was her right of way.” So I got mid intersection where she almost tee-boned me and looked right into her car. She was losing her shit!! I mean REALLY losing her shit. There was a teenage girl in the passenger side too. Oh, and did I mention it was a sunny 72 degrees here in Mid-February? A day that most people should feel Joyous and happy?
Our cars were not going fast enough to hurt anyone, and probably barely make a dent. All that happened was some inpatient lady with a chip saw that I was in HER intersection and so she SPED up to make a point that it was her right of way. She wasn’t there to see that myself and the person on the opposing side of me had been sitting there patiently waiting for the prior lady to move. But people in this world today are in such a rush, and totally addicted to being first so they can hurry up and finish. As if me being in that intersection costs her 2 full seconds of her life and in doing so would make her world crumble.
Flash forward 20 minutes later and I’m in the parking garage at Ikea. I drive a big Escalade SUV and so I try to find wide spaces to park. I’m ready to pull in and out of the corner of my eye I see a space 3 spaces closer to the front entrance……….so I stop my turn and drive further to the closest spot. Ummmmmmm, didn’t I essentially just do the same thing that lady did to me earlier? Granted I went about it differently but in a way it was the same thing. As if parking 3 spaces closer was going to save me any time at all. So it got me thinking………….why are we in such a hurry all of the time to “finish.”
I love standup comedy and this story reminded me of one of his bits. The comedian’s name is X and he’s kind of known as being the Albino looking good. If you know him, then when I say “Hot Pockeeeeeeettttssss” you’re laughing your ass off haha Anyway, he does a really funny bit about the gym and how he hates working out. How he likes to go on a treadmill but watch the person next to him’s TV lol But the funny part that reminds me of this goes something like:
“You ever see those guys at the gym who are all buff with no body fat and whose muscles are huge and glistening with sweat? Sometimes I want to just go up to those guys and say “Hey dude, what are you doing here……YOU’RE DONE!!” lol
As funny as that is, it actually makes a great point for my post this week. Think about why we go to the gym and why we work out so hard. Of course we have goals whether it be too loose weight, or gain muscle, or fix our cholesterol, BUT there really is never an “I’m done” moment right? Who would want that !?!?! We do these things for important goals for sure, but in addition it’s the workout that we are after too. NOT just the reward. So why the hell would we ever want to rush through a workout?
Now just substitute the word “Workout” with “Journey” or “LIFE” and read it one more time. Are you (like me) one of those people busting your ass to finish something JUST SO YOU CAN MOVE ONTO SOMETHING ELSE!?!?!? How’s that serving you ? I’ll tell you this, I haven’t felt like I was “DONE” with anything for probably 40 years !! lol Can you even remember a time when you sat on the couch and went “huh, that’s odd….I’m done and I have nothing else to do and nowhere to be.” If you get to that point than I am sorry to say that YOU’RE DEAD.” =(
Often when I write one of these posts (if not always) it comes from a personal place and something that I experienced that week. And I’ve been pretty transparent up until now with my posts so I why stop now haha. So last week I found myself in a dark rut that try as I may I could not climb out of. I was miserable and had NO reason to be. There was nothing I could point to and say “This is making me sad” or “This person is hurting me.” It was just a black cloud over my head that wouldn’t leave for 4 days. Then this whole incident with the crazy chick almost hitting me at the mall that got me thinking about time, the journey, the rush to try and finish when “finishing” isn’t the goal. Within a few hours I had a long list of changes I am going to start doing in my life and as of today most of them are implemented. Some are basic like new foods and natural supplements I started taking today. But some are out of the box for me and a couple I want to share just in case anyone reading this ever feels this way or knows someone who can relate.
First, I took myself off of Facebook for a while. It is amazing how the amount of time we spend on there can start to creep up. The constant need to look at your phone to see if there are any updates. So there’s 3 more hours to my day to start living!! lol
Second, I removed myself from all dating sites. When you email 100 people and 99 ignore you, it’s time to say “it ain’t working for you kid.” Lol As someone who believes deeply in the law of attraction and the vibration of energy, I have ZERO doubt that the constant rejection by 99% of the women I reached out to was definitely playing a part in my low vibration and energy. So poof, closed them all.
Third, and this was a big one, I stopped watching YouTube conspiracy documentaries. It’s like a drug, first you start with the JFK Conspiracy ones and before you know it you are watching the “Flat Earth Society” and all the folks who are warning of the Elites trying to take over the world and shrink the population to 500 million people worldwide (We currently sit at close to 9 billion). And don’t get me started on the ones about the cancer causing poisons in our food, water, clothes, toys, furniture, etc. etc. etc. By the end of every day I was finding myself exhausted, rejected, and scared to death of everything and anything that I ate, wore, or breathed. No wonder I felt like poop!
But the fourth thing is the one I want to share most. And this is something that I never thought I would be able to do. My research in how to get my center back brought to me a lot of people saying the mediation is the best thing you could ever do for your health, mood, and soul. Being someone who can’t shut his brain off, meditation never seemed to work for me. BUT I think I found a way for all of you type “A” personality people out there like me =) Read below and try it out because for the first time I finally felt like I may be able to do this!!!!
Here’s what I did. Do some or all of this and try it before making fun:
I created a dark room in my house. Under the stairs in the finished basement is a small crawl space about 4 feet high and 5 x 8 deep and wide. I covered all walls and ceilings with BLACK sheets and a shag black carpet. I got BLACK pillows and LOTS of blankets under the carpet to make it soft. I then got Aroma Therapy scents that do not have any light to them. I didn’t get the aroma therapy stuff for its chemical therapy because I am not sure I am there yet with regards to believing haha. I got them because I wanted a smell that would remind me of when I was a little boy with hardly any worries. For me that smell was/is Lilac bushes. I smell that and immediately find myself back on that one way street in NH where I lived when I was about 6 yrs. old.
Then, and THIS is by far the most “out of the box” thing I have ever tried in my life, I went and bought some Crystals and some Organite. Look it up and judge for yourself. It’s too new for me to even speculate whether this is real or fake so do your own research.
Finally, I found some meditation music and some guided mediations to listen to. If you believe in this stuff, then you don’t want to have your cell phone or any wireless devices near you. So for me I have regular headphones with a long wire and press play before I go into my room.
So I get this tiny little dark room under my basement stairs all finished and as I stand back I realize that what looks like a dark mediation room for me, may look like a kill room from an episode of DEXTER to someone else haha. But I used it and it worked!! I gave it 45 minutes and spent all of that time repeating to myself that “I WILL ENJOY THE JOURNEY, I WILL EXPERIENCE THE RIDE, AND I WILL NOT BE FINISHED FOR A LONG LONG TIME AND THAT IS A GOOD THING SO STOP RACING THROUGH LIFE!” My Mantra may be much different from yours, doesn’t matter. But if you’re like me and you need to find ways to stop rushing to the “next thing” than I highly suggest trying meditation. And don’t forget to look at what you do in a day and see what “non-helpful” things you can get rid of to make more time for the juice!!
“HI, my name is Jay and I am now a recovering over-doer who is learning that life is about me being able to slow down every so often even if it means I’m late getting to something else.” I plan to be around to dance with my grandchildren and I hope you are too!! Peace!!
Jay
by Dennis Mellon | Feb 22, 2016 | Jay Duplessie
Missed Opportunity
Today I had my first real “parenting scare.” I was horsing around with my son and his wrist popped. You know when you pull on a finger and it pops out and back in ? Well his wrist made that sound and it scared him, scared me, and hurt him so bad he was hysterical for almost 3 minutes. I could barely dress him to get him to the ER. Now you have to imagine this to see the humor, so read on and try to visualize.
I’m panicking because I think I just broke his wrist from holding him by his hands when his body weight was too heavy. He’s hysterical and literally acting like his whole e right side is paralyzed. This is my first experience with an injured child of my own, so I am almost in tears because I feel totally responsible. My incredible daughter is trying her best to make my son and I feel better. I can’t touch my son’s right arm at all because of the pain, so I put the shirt over that arm but not in the sleeve. I RACE to the Er with him, jump out and get my daughter out first, then run to my sons side. I take his seat belt off and then…………HE SAYS “Daddy my shirts not on” and SLIPS HIS RIGHT ARM INTO THE SLEEVE LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED!?!?!? I say “You’re arm doesn’t hurt” and he says “No, all better.” With a smile. Ummmmmmmmm WTF !?!?!
After walking him in just to double check and wait for his mom to come and check him, I loaded them back in the car (feeling like a complete idiot in front of my ex wife) and decided to cancel the hike/picnic I had planned with them. Besides, it was too cold. We happen to be near Southlands and I knew there was a pottery-painting place over there so we went. Got a great table, picked out some cool items to paint, and had one of the most memorable times the kids and I have had as a family ever!
The place was packed and oddly enough it was mostly kids with one or the other parent (meaning either the mom or the dad). Could I have possibly found where single parents take their kids? ha-ha. But there was ONE family there where both the mom and dad were with the kids. I am going to explain to you EXACTLY what I saw because it ties into my point.
The table with both parents consisted of a boy and girl (probably 8 to 10 in age) and parents around my age. The kids and the mom were painting. I only noticed this table because another man and his daughter came in and sat next to them. The single man said, “Hey dude, I never see you on this end of town.” He says “Ya, unless I am going to McCabes (The bar right next to this shop).
Now that they had my attention I noticed that the father had his nose BURIED in his F&*^%ing Phone the entire time, had nothing to paint, and looked like he probably didn’t even know where he was or who was around him because he was so wrapped up in whatever was on his phone!!
I thought to myself as I looked around at the other single parents (assuming they are divorced like me) that we all lost 50% of our time with our kids due to divorce. I never thought I would have my kids and then say, “Ok, I only want to spend HALF my time with them. I wanted and still want all 7 days of the week. But this is what I got. And this “dude” was sitting there with his kids and ignoring them. He said more to the single dad than he did to his kids the whole time we sat there. So so sad.
Now I know some of you may think to defend him and say, “well maybe he had to catch up on work emails.” I assure you it was not that. He looked like he was either reading the inquirer or watching porn. He kept laughing, smiling, and his eyes never left the phone. Plus he looked annoyed that he had to be there and never turned to face his family; rather he was faced away from the table. But I’m not trying to judge (although it sounds that way), I am trying to set up my point for the story.
Here’s a two part “aha moment” for you.
First, I may not have had a day like today if my son hadn’t scared the Bajesus out of me. Today will be a moment that is burned in my brain forever and one I will always cherish. Who knows, 20 years from now I may be at one of the kids weddings and they’ll say “Remember when we painted that pottery after Brady hurt his wrist?” And that is what one might call a “CAPTURED” opportunity right? Meanwhile the table next to us, another father is MISSING an opportunity!!! Hopefully he won’t the next time he’s there, possibly now a single dad like me because maybe his wife decides that if she’s not more important than his phone than what’s the sense.
In class we have an opportunity to check up on so many people in their quest for fitness goals, but what about things outside of fitness? Or maybe fitness related goals that if obtained would be life changing but if missed would be life CRUSHING? Today I am making a promise to myself and it’s as good as the promise I made to you all 2 months ago to stop drinking diet soda (Haven’t touched a soda since, cold friggin turkey), and that promise is to be more aware. If I see someone working hard, and losing weight, I am going to tell them. Maybe it’s those words of encouragement that they needed in that moment to keep going. Maybe they were ready to give up because they thought no one noticed. And if I see someone avoiding eye contact but looking like they need a friend, I am going to go start a conversation. My gym lost a great lady recently because she didn’t feel she could talk to anyone and I can promise you my whole team is more aware now of people who may need that hug.
Here’s the point folk. ALL around us people are having opportunities thrown at them whether they know it or not. And sometimes those opportunities can make or break the amount of LOVE, JOY, or SUCCESS we are going to have. If you ever see me missing an opportunity PLEASE come over and smack me. I was tempted to do that to the “Dude” at the table because believe it or not I want great things for pretty much everyone. And more so for his kids than him, but even some for him. Don’t be wasteful of your time, don’t under-estimate the power you have to change a life, and most of all don’t ever suffer the regret of a “Missed Opportunity.”
Thanks for reading and I stole a word from a friend, which I am going to use now in my closing line.
Go Be Epic!!
Jay K. Duplessie
by Jay Duplessie | Feb 15, 2016 | Jay Duplessie
Many Hats……….
I’m a small business owner, very small to be exact. I used to have a nice office with employees and even a bookkeeper and Sales person. But after 2008 I changed my business model and went with a leaner format. I now handle most of the work myself and then outsource on a contract basis what I can’t handle. Not the way I wanted to run the business, but out of necesity has become the norm. I still have a bookkeeper, but I now only use her at the end of the month to reconcile my account. This means that I send my own invoices, deposit my own checks, AND collect my own money !! The worst part of the job in my opinion. Second only to “cold call sales.”
The other day I had lunch with a friend and she asked me how business was going. I explained that some days better than ever, but some days I still have the horrors of the 2008 crash playing in my head and so I never find myself too optimistic theses days. And then I explained that now I wear “many hats” which make what I do sometimes extrmely difficult. Not in the way you might think though. I can work until I fall asleep and bang my head on the desk lol Not a great trait, but it’s fact. What makes it difficult is the the topic of this weeks post. I hope it resonates with some of you and maybe helps in whatever area in life or your classes that need it.
So what makes it most difficult to wear “Many Hats” is that in a typical client interaction for me I have to find the project, sell the project, do the project, bill the project, collect the money for the project, then ask for ANOTHER project. In a perfect world and in a good economy, that isn’t too hard to do. Especially with good clients, which I have managed to find over the last 9 years. I have weeded out the bad ones and who ask for too much and pay TOO little and traded them in for the ones who are most reasonable and value what I do. I have to say I am easily in the above 90% satisfaction rate for myself with these clients. But for the purposes of todays post let me play a scenerio of a “poor” client experience.
Let’s imagine that I finished a project that probably took more time than expected because a client had unreasonable expectations. Then lets imagine that they are two months past due on paying their invoice. NOW let’s imagine that “I” as a struggling small business owner find myself with a dried up pipeline and in desparate need of 1. The client to pay and 2. A new project. This is a horrible place to be (at least it used to be).
So the conversation goes something like this. With an already poor expectation of how the call will go, and a deep seeded desire to not work with this client again, I first have to call as the “Book Keeper.” “Hello Mr So and so, this is Bookkeeper and I am calling about invoice 55555. It’s two months past due and I was wondering when we might see that payment.” This goes one of two ways. They either will act embarressed and say they haven’t been paid yet, but you would be shocked to know that more often than not what I get is attitude where they try to project it on me as if they are waiting to see what errors I made on the project before they pay me what I am owed. So THEN I have to put on both “Worker who did the project” and “Owner of the company.” These roles can also go two ways. I am either defending the quality of work, OR I am explaining that review and revisions should have been done months ago and should not be a reason to say 3 months later that payment is held up because of them.
Once that part is resolved, and some agreement for payment has been made, THEN guess what hat needs to go on ?? You guessed it, “SALES GUY” hat. UGH !!!! I get a knot in my stomach just typig out that scenerio because I lived it for WAY too long. But I am hopeful that aside form the rare occasion, I now have the ideal cleint base who makes this interaction rare and much less painful if it does occur.
I believe that this very true story plays out in every one of our lives whether you know it or not. I wear many hats as a father, as a friend, and as a husband when I was married. And you do too! It’s not something that any of us can change, but I believe it IS something that we can all manage better in order to make the experience (life) much easier to deal with.
Now since I never know who reads these, I am going to stear clear of any mention towards family and friends. I don’t want any uncomfortable run ins or angry emails lol But let me just say this and move on. What I have done with regards to family and friends is set bounderies, lower expectations, and narrow down significantly my circle. I don’t necassarily keep anyonme out, but I don’t let everyone in to stay for too long either. If I have a circle of people who respect and value me, and I respect and value THEM, than its a pretty cool place to be. And then those who don’t, that step into the circle, I give them enough time to show me whether they are there to help or hurt the atmosphere and if they are there to hurt then they are sent away until a later time when they can show me something has changed. Otherwise they only get to waive to me from outside the circle.
Recently I posted something on FB which I have tried to NOT do because too many people love to create drama from tiny things. In a nutshell it was this: Someone whom I used to hold dear to me and that I respected tremendously stayed at my home for 5 days. I had a business trip and so I wasn’t home. I cleaned the house, and even baked them fresh banana bread before I left. But did not have time to wash the 4 bread pans so I put water in them and left. But when I got home, this person didn’t wash the bread pans. So my FB post was basically asking “How many people think that is proper behavior/etiqate?” And in typical FB fashion, the point was totally missed and most people explained to me that I should not expect someone to wash the pans just because I let them stay at my place and that I should not “Give to get.” Now I take some responsibility for not explaining my question/point better, but what really got to me was how many people thought it was completely normal for someone to stay at your home for 5 days, use your water, your electricity, your food, and then totally ignore 4 pans in the sink but wash their own. To me that just strikes me as odd because I wasn’t rasied that way. You would have to go out of you way to just leave the pans there and work around them lol But the thing is, it wasn’t the point and I wasn’t expecting anything from this person as payment for using my home. I expected this of them because I thought that someone in my “circle” was the type of person who would behave the way I would behave. Who cares that the pans took me 3 minutes to wash. I cared that we are living in a world that more and more behavior that we used to not tolerate is not becoming so acceptable. The “Bread Pan” thing was just a metophore for the bigger picture I am seeing all around us. I mean, if I hear one more time “Oh, that’s just how the Millenials are” I think I’m gonna kill myself !! lol Why do we give passes to so many people to not treat us with respect, ESPECIALLY when all we have is our time? This is why I work so hard NOW to keep my circle small and invest almost ALL my time with the “Good Clients, Friends, Family” so that I can limit how much time is wasted on those that bring me aggrivation, irritation, and disappointment.
Let’s now talk instructor to instructor. We all have the person(s) in our class who complains about the music, complains about the bike, complains about the system not working, etc etc etc. Do you find that do what I do and am trying to STOP from doing. I will have 55 people in class who are working hard and focusing on themselves and their workouts. But when that person comes to me with the list of ten problems that no one else seems to have about the class, what do I do ??? I invest all my time on trying to fix everything on their list. “What, you don;t like that song ? I won’t play it. Turn down the music, absolutely. The bike isn’t reading the correct wattage, let me sit on it and try and fix it and then get help if I can because obviously if the wattage is off by 30 watts than there is NO WAY you could possibly get a good workout because until we had wattage meters no person was ever able to get a good workout.” Is that you ??? Well it was me and to some extent still is. But I’m changing. I’m working harder on being a guy with less hats because if people think you’re there to ONLY fill their needs then you never get any of yours met. I love teaching second only to my kids. It feeds my soul to know someone enjoyed my class and that some story I told during class to inspired them to go make a positive change. So the more I get pulled out of that and into things that I can’t help because let’s face it, the person complaining is ALWAYS going to have something to complain about. So think of your Love/Passion/Time as a currency that is in limited supply. If you think of it that way, and be more frugal with it, than you will find yourself less likely to waste it on people who are only there to suck it out of you like energy vampires.
The next time a person who I KNOW is just about complaining tells me the bike is not working to their standards, I’ll tell them I’ll have someone look at it and leave it at that. The next time they say don’t play a song, I will take a poll at the next class. You get the idea ? I am NOT trying to pass the buck and I am NOT trying to shut people out. What I am trying to do in all aspects of my life (Work, Relationships, Career) is to spend MORE focus on growing the plants that I know will grow and flourish and spend as little as possible on the plants who are sucking up all my water and sunlight which leaves me less for the plants that mean the most to me.
So maybe this week look at your lives/classes and make a list of how many hats you wear and how are they suiting you. Are you the Sister who everyone unloads their family problems/gossip on ? Are you the brother who is thought more of like the family bank? Are you the friend who is always expected to say sorry first? And are you the instructor always trying to please the one or two people who may never ever be satisfied and who is taking you out of your true flow where you give off and receive the most passion ? If so, do as I have been doing for years with my business and start firing cleints. Get rid of or distance yourself from the ones who are constantly pulling you away from who YOU are and re-engage in a way that your class and your circle is SO big and full of SO MUCH Love/Passion/Joy that even if there was room in the circle for these people, the smell and brightness of all the gorgeous flowers (POSITIVE ENERGY) would be so uncomfortabel for them they would either change or leave you alone all together.
Brute honesty I know, but in sticking with my newfound philosphy if it pissed you off than we probably would be friends anyway.
Peace !!
by Jay Duplessie | Feb 8, 2016 | Jay Duplessie
Last night I had a dream; a dream that moved me. I dreamt that I was walking down a straight road in the middle of the desert. The road was paved, but everything around me felt dry, baron and without color. I kept walking straight down the middle of the road though as if I was waiting for something to happen; as if this road was going to take me somewhere.
I remember being a combination of lonely yet purposeful. It was as if I had convinced myself that all of this, the road and everything around me, was for a greater good. It was as if I was certain that this was the journey I was meant to take and that the certainty I felt was enough to keep me moving forward; that eventually I would find my way to something extraordinary, and so I kept walking.
Every so often, I would see a little boy standing on the side of the road, beckoning me to follow him. But afraid to stray from my path of “certainty,” I could not get myself to stop walking long enough to approach the little boy on the side of the perfectly paved road. So to the little boy’s dismay I just shook my head as if to say “not now” and walked past him, only to see him later on further down the road.
Finally, about the fifth time I passed him, he realized I was not going to come to him and so he walked up unto the road and met me. He turned forward and walked there beside me, in perfect stride, and we talked. He told me about all of the amazing things that he had seen, and how he wanted to take me to those places. But it would involve me leaving my perfectly paved road. “Leave my road?” I thought to myself. “No Way!!” The little boy realized that I would have no part in it so he changed the subject back towards the amazing things he had seen in his own journey. I found myself feeling like his protector; as if he needed me to look after him while he walked “my path.” And sensed that the little boy felt no fear or anxiety and believed that it was his trust in me and the certainty that I possessed in my Journey that made him feel at ease.. The truth however was that this little boy did not need me or my certainty to feel safe and protected because HE had found equal comfort in “UN-certainty” and this detour he was on with me was in fact strengthening his beliefs that every journey has a purpose even if the scenery isn’t all that great.
I shared with him that I also had a purpose and that this perfectly paved road led to something great. I even told him that it was in his best interest to stay with me and follow the road if he really wanted to discover happiness, success, and greatness. After all, this was the road that “everyone” took and had been paved for this very purpose. It’s the path everyone told me to take and “they” would never lie or steer me wrong. I was so certain of it that eventually, the little boy stopped trying to convince me to stray from the path and go his way. I assumed it was because he believed I was right, but the reality had more to do with the wisdom of this little boy knowing that I would need to find out for myself that “certainty” does not always bring you where you want to go.
After some time, he began to look frustrated and doubtful and so I told him that I had many more years of experience in life and that I knew what was best. Reluctantly, the young boy followed and the longer he did, the sadder he got. He was used to bright colors and vibrant sounds; but this road had neither. I kept telling him to hold on and have faith, it would get better; but it never did. Even with no sign of hope, he stayed committed to my words and seemed to want to believe that I would in fact prove to him what I had been saying was in fact true.
After a couple of hours both of us were exhausted. We had not realized it but we had lowered our heads as we walked and were only seeing the road right in front of us. We stopped for a break and raised our heads to look up ahead and were struck with panic.. The road stretched about 20 more feet and then ended abruptly!! We no longer had the benefit of its direction nor did the end of the road have any grand rewards for our laborious walk. There was no prize for holding onto the certainty as we did for all of the hundreds of miles we walked.
I could not bare to look at him because I knew I had failed us both. He had put faith and trust in me and I had led him to a dead end. I knew that if I looked at him, I would be ashamed of what I had done. but I had no choice, I had to comfort this little boy who had followed me all of this way. I had to console him and convince him that things would be okay.
I turned down to look at him, expecting to see tears, but I saw the opposite. The little boy stood there smiling and rubbing his hands together. What I had seen as a dead end, he saw as an opportunity. Without saying a word, he grabbed my hand and pulled me off the road and into the desert. I fought as hard as I could to not turn around and go back to the safety of the road. I tried hard not to think about the past and where I may have gone wrong or missed a turn. Instead, I trusted in the young boy to lead me, the way he had trusted in me.
Within minutes we were surrounded by trees, plants, flowers, and exotic animals. The sights were amazing, but equally incredible were the sounds that we heard. This was like a fantasy playground for grownups and kids alike. Suddenly an amazing new feeling came over me. I tried to define this new feeling as we walked through the fruit filled trees and mossy green grass but my attention kept getting pulled away
After a short time it hit me and I knew what this feeling was; it was the feeling of “UN-certainty!” Like putting knew batteries into a flashlight I found myself with a glow I had not seen in many years and I was CERTAINY that the UN-certainty was exactly what I needed in this moment. I was lost and found at the same time and it felt perfect
What may have been hours, seemed like minutes. I felt recharged and full of life. I didn’t know where I was heading, but for the moment I was happy. In this moment I was a kid again; and then something amazing happened. The little boy stopped and pointed up ahead. There before my eyes I saw a newly paved road just a straight as the first one I walked for so many miles, but with an obvious difference. This road had trees along the roadside, birds in the trees, and the sound of a gentle wind.
The little boy and I stepped back onto the road and continued to walk with new purpose and vigor. We didn’t say anything, but we both knew what the other was thinking. Our journey continued just as it began; with purpose.
The moral of this story is simple; when you’re walking thru life, do not to stay on the wrong path just because it’s what you’re used to and comfortable with. Don’t be afraid to trust the child that is in all of us; the one who wants you to take chances, play from time to time, and walk new trails. Believe that life is here to serve you and that certainty and UN-certainty work equally in your favor. Keep that balance and life promises to get you where you need to be. Be a grown up and take charge when you have to, but don’t be afraid to play every so often. Be open to these principals and you’ll find a better path, and will stay young forever!!
JKD
by Jay Duplessie | Jan 27, 2016 | Jay Duplessie
A Most Valuable Commodity
You may have caught wind of an extremely large power ball jackpot recently………Over a BILLION Freakin dollars !!!!! Kind of hard to miss a thing like that isn’t it ? I remember as a kid when the Megabucks (which is the East coast version) was near a million and thinking that was more money than someone could spend in a lifetime !!! Boy how time fly’s, and perspectives have changed ??!! And when it would get as high as 4 or 5 million, my dad would drive all the way to New Hampshire (from Maine) to buy loads of tickets for all my family in Maine lol Kind of funny to think about it now, but back then a couple million dollars was this imaginary number that as a young boy I couldn’t even visualize because in MY mind that much money would fill several tractor trailer trucks !!
Like probably everyone reading this, I too found myself standing in line for my chance at a billion dollars. It didn’t matter where you went either because anywhere that had a Powerball machine, you were sure to find a long line of people. People of all walks of life, levels of income, colors of skin, shapes and sizes, etc etc.
Being that I have one of those Type A brains that NEVER shuts off, I found myself having the “what else do I have to do today” moments going on in my head so that I could plan how to make up the lost time of stranding in this LINE !!! As I started to feel myself move towards frustration and annoyance, I reminded myself that THIS year I plan to live MORE IN THE MOMENT and that this could be a time to reflect on something good in my life instead of being angry with the current circumstances of a line that didn’t seem to be moving. Because standing in a line doesn’t mean that my brain can’t be off on some beach planning the next vacation I plan to take my kids on right ?? OR, I could be writing (on my phone) a list of stories to write for these post that i am ALWAYS behind on. And just as the thought entered my somewhat hazy brain (Oh, did I mention I FINALLY gave up dt Soda for good ? 3 weeks and going strong but body is still in a fog without the caffeine) I saw my next story alllllll around me. I will try to put this delicately and without coming across as a judgmental ass.
So standing there observing the lines and lines of people who (like me) are probably missing more important things like time with family, a brisk walk outside staring at the blue sky and breathing in the fresh air, or even a quick workout at the gym, all of which would enhance their lives MUCH more than standing in this line, I found myself dumb founded on the things we choose to spend our time on. And more importantly the things we are “stingy” at spending our time on. But what hit me hardest in this moment was the overall make up of this line. Overweight people, Unhealthy looking people, the smell of tobacco from the smokers, and basically a line full of people who looked sad, unhealthy. And worst of all, every single one of them (I’m guilty of this too) had their faces buried in their phones probably playing some silly game OR posting something on their FB page trying to “bring that positive energy for buying the winning ticket.”
Don’t mis-understand; I am not without skin in this game. I could be healthier, I could lose a few pounds, and I need to remove my face from this stupid Iphone as well. Fortunetly (my perspective lol) is my weakness isn’t FB, it watching ridiculous YouTube videos on every conspiracy from JFK to the “FLAT EARTH TRUETHERS!” Ya, I said it, there is a whole community of people who believe we live on a flat earth inside a bubble like rats in an experiment. But you know what’s even crazier than that belief ?? The fact that if you watch a couple hours of these videos, you will probably at the very least find yourself scratching you head saying “Well I’ll be damned, they make perfect sense !!” lol Who knows, point is that I too waste way more time than I should. Rather than watching one of those videos, I could be watching one to learn how to do something great with my life. Maybe learn a new language, or how to be able to sing !! Oh how I would love to be someone with a voice to sing !! I already play guitar and would love to be able to play a song on my guitar and sing to the first ever true love whom I’ve waited WAY too long to find lol Corny, I know, but there’s something so powerful in the ability to sing in a way that moves people !! In my past bands I always sang a percentage of the songs we did while playing my guitar, but I always chose safe songs that didn’t put me at risk of showing how bad a singer I truly am haha. Songs that were more gimmicky than true vocals (Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy, Love Shack, etc.).
Driving home with my (non wining ticket) I began to write this story in my head. How to express the absolute obvious to all of you. I mean, what idiot doesn’t already know that we waste time on un-important things and we don’t do enough of the important things that truly matter !?!? It’s like diets these days. Do we really need someone to tell us what NOT to eat ?? Do we really need someone to tell us what to do to lose weight ???!!!! Ask any person, and I mean ANYONE this question. “Ummmmmmm, if you want to lose weight and be healthy, should you A) lay on the couch and eat potato chips, OR B) walk daily and eat a balanced diet?” Would anybody answer this question incorrectly ? If you know someone who would, find a smarter group of friends. Haha. But that question is the easy one.
NOW, here’s one that’s a little more difficult. This one I need to use on myself for sure. The question is “What could you give up right now that would free up time so that you could do something Epic that would effect YOUR life in a positive way and which by default would then effect the lives of those around you in a positive way too?” Now that’s a question worth standing in line for right ??
I feel like over the last year I have already narrowed down and shaved off a bunch of the “nonessential” things I waste my time on, but I already know the Conspiracy documentary thing is something I could hack at a little more. But isn’t it scary to think about giving up things that we enjoy !?!? Just typing that makes me feel a sense of sadness like “damn, I have to give up that??” But we don’t have to “give up” anything really, just cut back on some things. When I stop and think about all of the things we have today to draw our attention away from what is important, it makes my brain hurt. When I was a young punk back in Jr High School, we had about 4 channels, 6 if you have HBO and Cinemax, we had NO Internet, NO cell phones, PONG was the only video game, and so we played outside and created!!!! Created forts, created games, created friendships and most importantly we created DREAMS of our future. I remember those days like it was yesterday !! I nt only remember my first kiss and crush, but I remember her name !!!!! Initials are D.A. and that’s all I’m sayin haha.
Thirty five years ago was a long time, and I had big dreams back then as I am sure you ALL did. But could we ever have imagined the life we live today ?? If the YOU of today traveled back to the YOU of 35 years ago, would that you believe it when you told them that “in 35 years you are going to spend 20 to 30 percent of your day staring at a tiny tv in your hand? That you’re going to stop playing and stop calling your friends and instead will type with your thumbs very random and generic “status updates” to tell them how awesome and amazing your life is, BUT you won’t take the time to walk down the road to tell them personally.” What would that younger you say to that ??? I can tell you without a doubt that the younger me would kick me in the dong !! There’s a lot of things I’m not, but one thing I AM and always have been is a HARD WORKER !! I never sit still and need to work more at relaxing. But FB posting and YouTube Videos is not what I mean by relaxing and the younger me would not believe that this older version would be wasting the amount of time I do on things like that ! Those are distractions for sure, but THAT ISN’T LIVING IN THE MOMENT and that is not connecting in the way that our maker (whoever he/she is to you) planned it or had in mind for us. These things will NOT help you find your greatness, they will only keep you from it !!! And like it or not, we all share this big blue ball (Or flat pancake if you believe in that sort of thing). We need to get back to the basics. Get back to what’s important and remember what matters !!
So i’m guessing a good portion of you are saying “But Jay, it’s a GGGAAAZZZZILLION dollars !!” Think how that could change my life.” And you’d be right. It probably would. But let me finish with these final thoughts and if you disagree please send me a message so I know I’m full of shit !
First, would you say things are progressing faster or slower in our world today than they were 35 years ago ?? If at the age of 10, 4 to 5 million dollars was more than I thought I could spend in a lifetime, then in another 30 years, would a billion feel the same ? Will in 30 years there be a new “magic” number of wealth that “guarantees” total and complete happiness?” Or will that number just be a set of digits in a bank account when you’re at an age that fancy cars and big houses don’t matter to you? I don’t know about you, but the older I get the more I realize what truly has value in this world and rarely is it anything made from composite plastic or electronics.
Second, from the time of your first memory to this very moment, can you think of ANY dollar amount that you would settle for that you would be willing to trade years for ?? Start at 10 years. Let’s say I came to you with a magic checkbook and said “how much money would it take to buy all your organs in 10 years ??” If I said $100,000, would you take it? Let’s say you think it over and in the spirit of negotiation come back with 100 million dollars !! So I counter with $100 million but I get your organs in 5 years! Then you counter with a BILLION, and I counter with a billion but get your organs in 1 year. Get the picture ?? Is there any amount worth your life on this planet? If that scenario sounds to creepy (since giving up your organs means death lol) let’s substitute organs for your legs ? Much better right !!?? haha So you can live, but you won’t be able to walk. How much then ? Cause let’s face it, if we keep neglecting our bodies, our diets, our internal and external health and peace, then either of those scenarios is not only possible, but is already set in motion and playing out right now.
I guess what I am saying is, “WHY will people stand in a cold long line to buy a ticket where the odds are ridiculous and when half those people probably need the ticket money to pay a bill, but these same people won’t spend 1 hour a week at a gym where the odds of a positive outcome is 100 PERCENT !!!!! WTF !!???”
Let’s wrap this up for the ICP’s who I am hoping are reading this. OUR CLASSES are as close as some of us will ever get to being surrounded by people who see the value in investing their time, energy and money towards something that will effect their lives in a positive way. I used to teach a class that was so full there was a line and sign up sheet to get in. I miss those days and beat myself up about it not being my reality anymore. I know it’s not all me, things have changed and new classes have been added, but I own some of the responsibility for losing that kind of following. But I still have a decent size class of people who come to be with me in a room full of sweaty people, loud music, and 90 minutes of “Jayisms” week after week. This is the kind of line I want to be in. I can still buy my power ball tickets, but unless I’m continuing to check in with myself and my schedule to see where I can make more time for the good stuff, I am just cheating myself and in doing so cheating the two people I love most in this world – my Daughter Taylor and my son Brady. They deserve a dad who is healthy and strong. A dad who is happy and positive. A dad who may be 45 but looks and feels younger. A dad who wears a smile more than a frown. Because when it comes right down to it, a billion dollars buys a lot of toys……..but a billion dollars can’t tuck you into bed, kiss your forehead, read you a story, pick you up when you fall, explain what “the moon is daddy”, and tell you that they love you with all their heart and would move heaven and earth to love and protect you till their last breath. And my friends, that’s my winning powerbal ticket and I won it the second my children came into this world. Everything else is gravy !!
Peace !!
Jay
