Being a dad has literally been the single greatest gift of my entire life. And in addition to having these two amazing little people to walk through life with laughing all the way, I am also finding that witnessing their reactions to the world around them has shown me a lot about myself as well. I’m grateful daily for all of the experiences i have had with them and hope for a hundred more years of it !
This week (if you don’t live in Denver and already know) we were POUNDED with a Spring Blizzard. This is pretty typical for Denver and I have personally seen it happen 5 times in 20 years that I have been here. 75 degrees a few days ago and today I’m looking at 2 feet of the heaviest snow you’ve ever seen !! But the bright side is it’s been the best way to create some incredible memories =) Blueberry Pancakes for Breakfast, FRESH homemade chocolate chip cookies after some hard work shoveling snow, and now back under the blankets for a few movies before bed. The kids and i have a great life, that’s for sure. It’s everything I could ever ask for………..but NOT what I expected. You see, my “expectations” were that I would be doing these things along side my partner, wife, and best friend. But life has a way of realigning things that don’t always fit with your original “Expectations.” And you know what, sometimes it takes a little while before you can understand that life did in fact know what was best for you =)
So for this week, I wanted to take a spinning related topic and tie it in with the personal side of “expectations.” And in typical form, I will try and give “my” take on the idea of expectations and explain how I am using this idea to further my journey towards a greater, fuller, life !! =)
So I’ve already explained my “personal” thoughts on expectations, but here is an example of how I witnessed “expectations” this week in relation to spinning.
I’m fortunate enough to be at a club who just got brand new bikes for the second time in just over a year. We are now moving to using Power and so this second set of bikes is going to help the instructors teach more accurately. And since I am not here to promote any gym or manufacturer of bikes, I won’t say the kind of bikes. But I will say these are without a doubt the best bike I have ridden in 20 years. In addition, in 20 years I have seen new bikes delivered close to 10 times and each time have witnesses a near meltdown each time from the members. It seems that the expectations almost always exceed what is actually delivered. And some years, I agreed. Some bikes weren’t always accepted right away because let’s face it, no one likes change.
This set of bikes have only been on site for a couple of weeks and without a doubt have been the fastest and most accepted bike that I have seen in 20 years. Easily 90% or more LOVE these things……….but there’s still that 10% who are picking them apart for some of the silliest things. It’s as if they can’t help but look for the negatives no matter how many positives there are. And personally, I am so impressed with the positives that I find the negatives so minor and wonder why people can’t just enjoy the gift. And so it got me thinking………..thinking deeply about that word expectations and how it is probably the root cause of so much sadness and emptiness in this world. So I’m going to make a bold assumption/statement and suggest a solution that may not be politically correct or widely accepted. So here goes…….
So have you ever wondered if our (the majority of the people in the US) “expectations” are too high ? I never thought I would be one of those people who blamed TV and Media for the worlds woes, but I’m starting to wonder. I mean, I came from the Nancy Reagan error where she told us that a certain kind of music caused us to take drugs. Or the Dan Quail error (or Maybe it was Al Gore) who warned us about “Family Values” being a thing of the past ! And each time I heard it, especially from Nancy Reagan because I was a Hair Band Heavy Metal guy and didn’t want to hear that my Ozzie and Judist Priest were going to cause me to go to hell lol But as I sit here now, I have to ask myself if maybe some of what they say is true ??
The reason I find myself thinking from this much different perspective now is because I am honestly starting to believe that we are fed so much crap on TV about how easy it is to get famous, Rich, and have it all, YET no one is teaching anyone how to do it the right way. What ever happened to hard work and dedication ? And what ever happened to finding your talent or passion and working it until you found success ? I feel like so much of the younger generation have this kind of Entitlement feeling and worse than that, this attitude like it’s supposed to be easy and if you don’t achieve it right away then they give up and bitch and complain.
Turn on the TV any time of the day and I have no doubt that no matter who you are or where you live, you will be able to EASILY find 5 shows that are glamorizing life by showing opulent wealth and easy living, but not a dam explanation of how the person got any of it. “Real Housewives?” Really ?? What’s so real about them ?? Or how about the versions of Jersey Shore, Shaws of LA, all of the realtor shows where the realtor makes a single sale and grosses $250,000 !?!?!?!? I mean think about that !! If your a young person now a days who never saw (like I did) a Grandfather who worked 3 jobs, got up every day at 4:30 am to deliver mail. And on retirement got a gold watch and was absolutely over the top grateful for it !!!! I think most 25 year old these days would look at that and laugh. They could never understand how that could be how my grandfather defined success for himself. But the youth today act as if the want instant fame, instant success, they don’t want to have to work for it and if they HAVE to work for it than they don’t want to work long and they sure as hell don’t expect to fail. And of course if they do, well it’s not their fault, it’s someone else's. Could it be that we have taught ourselves to have “expectations” that are always unreachable and is that the cause of so much sadness in the world ? I mean, are we all setting the bar above what we can actually achieve and therefore setting ourselves up for constant failure and emptiness ??
So my lesson to myself this week goes something like this. I am going to accept all of my current situations just as they are. I am going to re-evaluate the list of expectations i have for myself and my life, and I am going to be sure that I’m being realistic in those expectations. And for those who think this is the equivalent of “Sand Bagging” life and making it easy to succeed, i would day this; “Do you want to be fulfilled or do you want to spend your life complaining about all the things you didn’t get ? I truly believe that finding more realistic expectations for yourself and the people around you will create much more of an abundant life. Instead of defining success as “having all the things Kim Kardashian has” define it by how happy you are on a daily basis with what you already have! Look at the Kardashians and all of their “success and wealth” and ask yourself “what did they do to get all of that !?” Seriously, for my generation who saw what it took for our grandparents to be able to buy a home and put kids through school, it’s absolutely MADDENING to turn on the TV and see these spoiled Rotten women with no talent who are providing nothing of substance to the world who make more in one day for doing nothing than my Grandfather did on his best year.
So my plan is to set expectations that are just out of reach “BUT ARE ATTAINABLE” if i put the work in to achieve those things. No more unrealistic expectations and no more “wishing it into existence.” From now on I’m focused on reaching ALL my goals and I am done beating myself up for not attaining the ones that may have been a little too aggressive based on my current situation in life. I haven’t given up my my largest and wildest dreams, BUT I think I’m going to collect a few wins in my basket before I beat myself up too much over the out of reach things that haven’t hit yet. Will you join me ?
I'm getting so tired of hearing indoor cycling instructors say “If you don't do it on a bike outside you shouldn't do it on a bike inside”. This statement is repeated over and over again on social media. In Facebook groups like Indoor Cycling Instructors battles will rage on for days about topics like weights on the bike, tap backs or appropriate RPM ranges. Often these movements will be labeled “Dangerous”. I often wonder if the instructors who say “If you don't do it on a bike outside you shouldn't do it on a bike inside” have ever ridden a bike outside. I can think of no more dangerous activity than riding outside. Cyclist literally put their lives at risk ever ride.
This video below shows how “safe” riding outside can be.
Something else I find interesting is the same person who screams “If you don't do it on a bike outside you shouldn't do it on a bike inside!!!!!” will in the very next post ask if anyone has a suggestion for a hill climbing song with a BPM of 72. Hmmm, when I ride outside I don't listen to music because that IS dangerous and I certainly wouldn't limit myself to riding at one specific RPM. So, if this instructor really believed “If you don't do it on a bike outside you shouldn't do it on a bike inside” then they shouldn't be using music during indoor cycling class!
Today, Scott Melker announced that he coming back to the world of indoor cycling:
“Hi everyone! For those of you who don't know me, I was the music director for Flywheel Sports for 4 years, and helped to develop their music program. I have since worked with countless studios, and have now teamed up with Legitmix to offer an awesome music service tailored to you. We are presently building a catalogue of songs edited specifically for spin, available legally on the site. I'm even more excited that we are offering customization of ANY SONG you choose for only $3. You can go on the site, request any edits you want, and have the song back to you in a matter of days. We truly believe that this will revolutionize the cycling music world. Please check it out and give us feedback – we did this for you!”
I love Scott's work. You can check out his and the other artists that are part of this incredible music site below.
You have got to see this incredible cover of Simon and Garfunkel's “The Sound of Silence” by the band Disturbed
ICI/Pro Premium Members can view this video without adds and download it for free by following the links below.
[wlm_private ‘PRO-Platinum|PRO-Monthly|PRO-Gratis|PRO-Seasonal|Platinum-trial|Monthly-trial|PRO-Military|30-Days-of-PRO|90 Day PRO|Stages-Instructor|Schwinn-Instructor|Instructor-Bonus|28 Day Challenge']
Right Click on the blue underlined link
Select “Download Linked File As”
Select a download location
Once file is completely downloaded, find it in the location you selected
Drag the file into your iTunes or Spotify library OR
Right Click on the file and Select “Open With”
From the drop down menu select “iTunes” or “Spotify”
File should begin playing and is now part of your iTunes or Spotify library
To download the above media on a PC:
Right Click on the blue underlined link
Select “Save Link As”
Select a download location
Once file is completely downloaded, find it in the location you selected
Drag the file into your iTunes or Spotify library OR
Right Click on the file and Select “Open With”
From the drop down menu select “iTunes” or “Spotify”
File should begin playing and is now part of your iTunes or Spotify library Click here to watch a video on how to download media files from ICI/Pro.
Premium Members can download this mix for free by following the links below:
[wlm_private ‘PRO-Platinum|PRO-Monthly|PRO-Gratis|PRO-Seasonal|Platinum-trial|Monthly-trial|PRO-Military|30-Days-of-PRO|90 Day PRO|Stages-Instructor|Schwinn-Instructor|Instructor-Bonus|28 Day Challenge']
Right Click on the blue underlined link
Select “Download Linked File As”
Select a download location
Once file is completely downloaded, find it in the location you selected
Drag the file into your iTunes or Spotify library OR
Right Click on the file and Select “Open With”
From the drop down menu select “iTunes” or “Spotify”
File should begin playing and is now part of your iTunes or Spotify library
To download the above media on a PC:
Right Click on the blue underlined link
Select “Save Link As”
Select a download location
Once file is completely downloaded, find it in the location you selected
Drag the file into your iTunes or Spotify library OR
Right Click on the file and Select “Open With”
From the drop down menu select “iTunes” or “Spotify”
File should begin playing and is now part of your iTunes or Spotify library Click here to watch a video on how to download media files from ICI/Pro.
Have you ever sat an noticed how sometimes “things just work out?” I’ve been seeing this A LOT in my life over the last two years. And for BIG things too !! At first I just would say to myself “well thank god that one thing didn’t work out because now THIS thing is working perfect.” But then I would move on and forget it. It wasn’t until recently that I have begun to see things much different. Let me explain.
So before when this would happen, I would not become aware until after the “other thing” would happen. Are ya confused ? Let me try and put this in a stripped down metaphor because I don’t want to tie this into any one thing that has happened to me over the last two years. And to hit the point home, let’s use a very drastic example that is totally fictional lol
So let’s say I have a big party planned and have spent months getting ready for it. I’ve invited people, bought supplies, and am extremely excited for this party. Now let’s assume the city comes to me and says “You need a permit for that party and since the party is tomorrow you won’t have time to get one and so move our party somewhere else. “ Ugh, Right ?????!!!!!
Now lets say you move the party and while at this party a few things happen. First, because you moved it, more people show up. Win right ?? But then let’s say you turn on the TV in the background and on the news is the original party site completely engulfed in flames with a big headline at the bottom of the screen “Huge Meteor the size of pick p truck crashes into event center.” Haha Of course none of this happened to me, but you get the point. Suddenly the seemingly bad change of plans for moving your party has quickly become a LIFE SAVING decision right ?? Well that’s how I used to view “Bad changes or cancellations” that happen around me. And I used to get so upset or frustrated if something didn’t happen, or is someone cancelled, or if something in my life didn’t happen exactly the way I thought it was going to happen. I’m changing my silly ways though.
It’s very possible that I have way to much alone time to think of these types of things haha In fact, the more i think about it the more i realize that i am just building a story around a very common and well know quote that goes something like “When one door closes, another one opens.” But that quote doesn’t resonate with me the way my Meteor story does lol
So let’s tell that story in a slightly different way =)
Let’s say you get the call to move the event to another location because there’s no permit. This time, rather than be upset or angry, instead stop in your tracks and tell yourself…….”This must mean something BIGGER AND BETTER is supposed to happen!!” Then you anxiously pack up all the party gear to move to that new location and wait with over the top anticipation at the MUCH better plan the universe has for you. Just imagine the benefits and loss of angry moments if you could take on that new paradigm !!
I’m not joking, I can literally list 10 BIG things that in my life the last two years did not work out the way I thought it was meant to, but the way it ended up going was exponentially better =) Things so big and so meaningful that I know it’s not coincidence and that this “formula” I plan to adopt into my life is going to have big and powerful positive consequences =) I couldn’t be more excited !!!
Here are some steps I am taking and maybe you want to do the same. Unfortunately this post will most likely not translate to being an instructor, but at the end of the post I will explain what I plan to do about that.
First, I chose a number that is comfortable to me. That number happens to be (5) Five. Five has always been my lucky number and one that resonates to me in so many ways. I met my ex wife and she also had 5 as her lucky number and like me she used it in everything, even her Jersey for soccer her whole life. And together we created two of the best kids EVER !! So there ya go haha We may not be married anymore, but what our time together created is the best gift I have ever been given so NO REGRETS BABY !!! =)
Anyway, I took the number five and I wrote down 5 big ideas. A few are personal/family related, a few are business and work related, and one is strictly focused on finding my soul mate hehe But all of these are ones that I connect with on every level. When I look at this list I “feel” something on both the mental and physical level. My opinion is that for this to work, these have to be things that give you a “FEELING” and not just random things that would be “nice’ if they happened. So find things that rev you up !!! =)
The next thing I did was bought a Dry erase board. Now this may not work for you if you are married or living with someone who has very specific home decorating ideas for the home haha. I literally went and bought a 4 foot by 8 foot Dry erase board and hung it at the bottom of my stairs so that every morning it’s staring me right in the face !!! (I will take a photo and have Dennis post it for ya). lol. I am and have always been a Very visual person. “Tell” me a story and you may get my attention, BUT put some pictures with it and now you have my “understanding.” So for me the big board is how I will keep my focus on my top 5 !! Think about this and if for you just having a sheet of paper folded in your wallet works, then do that. If a note on the IPhone is your thing, do that. But put this list IN YOUR FACE on a daily basis. And if i had time, I would share with you how this worked for me 8 years ago and I didn’t even know it. In fact, maybe at the end of the post i will slap that in here so if curious you can see what I mean. Anyway……..
Now that you have your chosen number of items (mine was 5 remember lol), you have your chosen way of displaying them (Mine is the large Dry Erase board), NOW right that list in a way that triggers your brain cells to ACT haha. So what I did was used the whole “Basketball Final Four Bracket” deal haha. If you don’t already know this about me, I rarely ever watch any sports. I’m just not interested in watching someone else play, I’d rather be playing. But I know enough to know that this time of year people are all talking about their “Brackets” lol so that’s what I did. And hopefully you will see a photo if Dennis can post the photo.
Instead of putting two things in your bracket , put the Idea/plan/wish on the top line and then leave the one below t blank. Fill out the outcome though. Now chase “Big Idea #1” like a dog chasing a bone !! Every day work towards “Big Idea #1” until you reach it, ORRRRRRR until something gets in the way and changes your path. When and if that happens, put that in the bottom bracket. Then work the crap out of THAT new plan and see if the “Outcome Changes.” I’m venturing to guess that if you follow this path, stay positive and excited about the change the effected the bracket, that the outcome you get will not only be better but will also be one that when you look back you will say “thank god i was forced to change because the original idea now looks less attractive and would not have brought me as much joy !!
See below for my poor attempt to display a bracket haha
BID IDEA #1———
————- Outcome
Leave Blank———
So that’s it for this weeks post. As I said in last weeks post, I am “on a mission to create a better life for me and the kids” and I am sharing with you my road map to do so. And if some or all of these things works, then we will know how we did it.
Two things before you go. First, read below if you want to keep reading my posts as I need to make a decision about whether i should continue with this platform. Second, I will share briefly how 8 years ago this worked for me on a smaller scale and didn’t really recall until this wekend that it did.
Thank you and I hope some of this resonates with you !!
