Steve had always the typical over achiever. Great student, even better athlete, and everything seemed to come so easy. By the time he finished college, he had already accomplished so much, yet things had just begun.
Landing a high paying marketing job right out of college, he set his sights on one day becoming head of his own firm. And that “someday” came sooner than later. By the time he was thirty he owned a very successful agency with forty of the brightest employees in the industry. Things were perfect.
Just before his thirty-fifth birthday, he married his long time sweetheart and they set their sights on a family. Life was incredible.
By the time he reached forty, all his successes and goals had accumulated to a point that he started finding himself searching for new ones, new challenges. At the same time though, he realized that the hussle and bussle of daily life in the Marketing industry was starting to wear him down. So he and his wife Christy decided to purchase a second home in Breckenridge, a place where they could get away and forget all the responsibilities of the business, and the drain of city life. In no time at all, the second home became a place of comfort and tranquility. With the love of his wife and children, life felt complete.
One day while sitting on the deck of their new mountain home, Steve and Christy noticed a clearing in the brush at the end of their property. Together they walked over to it and found that this was a trail that most likely led to the base of the foothill. No telling exactly how far down, but the trail looked steep. The brush had started to grow back, but there was no doubt that this was a trail that used to get a lot of use.
Early the next morning, Steve drove down to the bottom of the hill where he had seen a make shift parking lot. Someone had parked on the grass enough times that it had left a dried out section of land. He pulled into the area and got out of his car. Sure enough, just as he suspected, an opening, just like the one in his back yard. He walked back to the car, threw on some hiking shoes, grabbed a bottle of water, checked the time, and began his assent.
Forty minutes into the climb, Steve realized he did not have the stamina he once did as a college level athlete. He sat down for a quick drink and to catch his breath. While sitting there, the achiever in him made a promise. He promised that he would master this climb, and beat his time, even if by seconds, each time he hiked the trail. Back on his feet, he started again and twenty-eight minutes later he reached the top. He looked at his watch and saw that his first initial climb took seventy two minutes, a time he knew he would and could beat.
Christy came out onto the porch and asked where he had been. He told her about his new hobby and the challenge he made to himself. She saw that same determination in his eyes that he had when he opened his firm. She admired this in him and always found his dedicaton to a goal, any goal, very attractive. She kissed him and went back inside. Steve grabbed a pocketknife out of the junk drawer and walked to the top of the path. There on a large oak tree, he carved the number 72.
Over the next four years, every time Steve and Christy visited the home, Steve would make his climb. And almost every time he did, he would beat the previous time, even if by a few seconds. And when he would get it down a whole minute, he would carve a new number. Currently it was at 49.
One fourth of July weekend, Steve and Christy invited all their friends from the city, all of their family, and the neighbors they had met in Breckenridge. It was to be a day to remember.
Early that morning, Steve set out to do his climb. Christy left at the same time to pick up a few things for the party. As Steve pulled off the side of the road to park in his spot, she drove past, waved, and gave him a honk. He smiled and waved back. He looked up at the sky and saw the clouds coming in. He prayed that they would pass before the party, and then turned towards his trail. Today, he would beat 49 minutes, he knew it. He set his timer and took off like a sprinter.
Thirty-five minutes into it, he knew he was making great time and would beat last weeks time with ease, but he didn’t let up. He pushed himself and his leg muscles burned. He came around a small switchback that he had so many time before. This was a section he needed to be careful at because there was a twenty-foot drop. Almost thru it, a huge bang erupted right next to him and before he could catch himself, he was falling towards the bottom. The lightening bolt didn’t hit him directly, but it might as well have because what came next was just as horrible.
When Steve opened his eyes he wasn’t sure how long he had been out. He quickly remembered the fall and thought to himself how lucky he was that he did not get hit directly by the strike. He didn’t feel any pain, so he thought he must be okay. Then he tried to move and nothing happened. His legs were not only non responsive, they were paralyzed. He could move his arms just enough to look at his watch. It had been 87 minutes since he started his climb. He laid his hand back down and started to weep. Not only did he loose the ability to walk, he had failed to beat his old time.
On her way back to the house, Christy drove by Steve’s car. She knew he would be waiting for him at the top and she would have to drive him back down to get his car. She had done this so many times before, but this time he would have to wait until she got the ice cream into the freezer.
When she walked into the house, she headed straight to the refrigerator. She hollered thru the house “Did you beat it? Did you break 49 minutes?” But there was no answer. She walked upstairs thinking he was in the shower, but he wasn’t. She ran outside, but he wasn’t there. She ran inside to the phone to call the neighbor, but he wasn’t there either.
This Fourth of July would still be a party, but it would be a search party. Three hours later Steve was airlifted away broken, battered, and paralyzed. Life wasn’t so good.
Over the next twelve months, Steve spent a lot of time in rehab, little time at the office, and the remainder of it in Breckenridge. He would sit on the deck, remembering the day he and Christy found the path and how perfect life was. Back when he had everything, and now he had nothing, or so he thought. He wished he had never seen that path.
After the first year, he was able to drive himself. A handicap van, complete with ramp and hand controls had been built for him and now he could come and go as he pleased, but he didn’t go, he didn’t go anywhere. Instead, he sat on that porch staring at the path, and everyday the brush got thicker and thicker. Eventually no one would even know that a trail existed, and no one else would have to go thru what he had experienced.
One year, three months, and twelve days after the accident, he woke with a different feeling. Instead of feeling like the victim on this day, he felt like the person angry at the victim. He felt angry that he had let this self-pity go on as long as it did.
All day long he heard an inner voice yelling to quit complaining and to stop sitting around, to get his life back, find a new goal, start over. The voices became so loud that he started to wonder if he was going crazy. He couldn’t sit still, and he couldn’t focus on anything.
Christy had been gone all morning with the kids doing some errands, and so he decided to get out of the house for a while. Maybe that would calm the voices. Not knowing exactly where he was headed, he got into his van and started to drive. When he reached the bottom of the hill, he knew why today was different and where he needed to be. There, on the right hand side of the road, was the place he used to park. He had not been there since the accident. Every time they drove to the house, he would look away. But today it stared him right in the face. He pulled over to the side of the road and onto the spot. Just like the trail, the grass here had started to return. Almost as if it was telling him, “we won, you lost.” He put the vehicle in park and sat. At first he thought this was all he needed to do. That what he was meant to do today was face the location. But before he could think, he was out of the van, sitting in his wheelchair. He rolled to the foot of the trail, moved the branches aside, and stared up the hill.
For no reason he could explain, he started to feel like the old Steve again. His chest came forward, the frown went away, and he no longer felt like a victim. Now he felt like someone with a huge opportunity. He looked at his watch, checked the time, and dove out of his wheel chair. On his hands and knees, he dragged himself into the brush and up the trail.
On her way home from running errands, Christy started her drive up the hill to the house. For whatever reason, she failed to see Steve’s van on the side of the road. Maybe it was because over the last year, the trees had grown in, or maybe it was because in her wildest dreams she had never expected to see Steve’s van there again. But nonetheless, she drove right by it without a single glance. When she got home, Steve was not there. A smile came over her face as she realized he finally got out of the house on his own and maybe he was feeling better today.
Two hours later, Steve had made it a third of the way up. He lay there taking a break, hands bloody, knees torn up, and tears running down his face. One might look upon this situation as a time of frustration and defeat, but it was just the opposite. The thoughts running thru his mind were those of gratefulness and passion, strength and victory! He was not only doing it, he was doing it alone without the help of others or his wheel chair. He felt free again and more alive than ever. If he had any negative thoughts, there was only one. He was so angry at himself that it had taken so long to step up and regain the fire he knew he always had for adversity and challenge.
Christy began to worry when she could not get him on his cell phone. Where had he gone, and why wasn’t he answering? She waited another thirty minutes before calling her neighbor. She came over and sat with Christy and together they thought about where he might be.
Four hours and twenty-three minutes later, Steve found himself more than two thirds of the way up. Right at the place that he had fallen over a year ago, he found himself right back where it had all began. Anger started to creep up inside of him, but he caught himself and realized that being angry did no good. Being angry was what took away the last fifteen months of his life. It wasn’t being physically paralyzed, it was being emotionally paralyzed that stole away those months.
So there, in the middle of it all, he promised to never be angry again. He looked down at his beaten up legs, and the blood on his hands, and told himself that if he was ever to be the man he used to be, it had to start now. He looked up towards the top and with a smile bigger than he had ever worn before, he pushed forward up the hill.
Christy could not wait any longer. She and her neighbor agreed that it was time to call the authorities. So she picked up the phone and called the police. She gave a description of her husband and his vehicle. The woman on the phone explained that it was too early for a missing persons report, but that an officer would drive thru the neighborhood and let her know. Christy hung up the phone, not feeling much better. She sat on the porch and waited for news. She looked over at the trail, covered with brush, and cursed it. That damn trail took her husband away from her. She wished they had never found it in the first place. No longer able to think about it, she went back inside and waited for news.
Forty five minutes after the call, a squad car drove towards Steve and Christies home. As he was making his way up the hill, he noticed something. Off on the side of the road, he spotted Steve’s vehicle. He pulled off to the side and got out of his car. There, at the base of the hill, was the wheelchair Steve left behind. Not sure what to think, the officer walked towards it and then up into the trail about 50 feet. He saw nothing. He then called Steve’s name, but heard nothing. In his mind, there was no way Steve was here, and something must have happened. He walked back to his car and continued to drive up the hill to meet Christy and tell her what he had found. Someone must have picked him up.
Ten minutes later, the doorbell rang. Christy walked to the front door and opened it. Her worste fears were staring her in the face. The officer asked if he could come in, and she said of course. He told her that he had been driving thru the area with no luck. But then, on his way here, he spotted Steve’s vehicle. It was empty and the wheel chair was left behind. As the officer explained this, clearly thinking that Steve had been abducted or picked up by a friend, Christy face and mood changed. She was no longer afraid and she was no longer worried. Instead, as the officer continued to speak and ask questions, she pushed him aside and ran thru the door. She bolted to the only place she knew to find him. The closer she got to the trail, the surer she was. She ran to the entrance and moved the branches aside. There, laying on the ground, was Steve. This wasn’t the Steve she first met, and it wasn’t the Steve she’d been with after the accident, this was a whole new Steve. A Steve with a new appreciation of life and the gifts he still had. He looked up at her, covered in dirt, sweat, and blood, and he winked. There were streaks down the side of his face from the tears. He said “one second honey” and turned away, and there, she saw what it was he needed to do before he could tell her where he had been. Far down, at the base of that oak tree, he was doing what he always did after climbing the trail. In big script he had carved into the base “Five hours, one minute…..BEST TIME EVER!!”
Remember, it’s not about how fast you do it, it’s about the Journey……..it’s about the Climb!!”
Being that this is only my third post, you may not yet know that much about me, so let me summarize one more time. I'm a passionate spinning instructor who motivates through stories, emotions, and what I like to call triggers. I've always felt that the reason people come to my class over someone else’s is based on my approach and style. I spend most of the time digging around in their thoughts and pulling out emotions that fuel the fire to make them push harder on the bike. I wouldn't say that my stories are always rainbows and roses, and sometimes my metaphors cut close to home……..but that’s the point. I want to shake them out of the haze so they don’t “spend” and hour with me, thy “INVEST” an hour with me. And I think even the most die-hard cyclist would agree that all the instructions in the world on how to peddle that bike won’t mean a thing if that person isn’t invested in the workout both physically AND mentally. The bottom line is, if you're going to come to my class or read my posts, then you're going to learn about me and my journey, and I'm not just talking about the good parts. And by doing that, I hope it helps you tap into your entire toolbox of tricks in order to get your class to their highest level.
Without wasting anymore of your time (my first post summed up my brutal divorce and what it did to me) let me just say this one thing and move on. The year I spent trying to finalize my divorce was the most horrible, brutal, exhausting, and painful thing I have ever done in my whole life. But what I know now is it didn’t have to be. If I had listened, TRULY listened to the people around me then I wouldn’t have almost lost myself in that mess, I wouldn’t have been physically ill to the point that I feel as if 20 years of my life are gone, and most of all I would have been more present to the people and opportunites around me rather than obsessing over things that matter deeply to me (and any parent) but DID NOT matter to the judge (or poor excuse for one). But “I didn’t know what I didn’t know.”
The second paradigm shift I have been experiencing since May 9th, 2011 is with regards to being a parent or as I like to say being a “dad.” If you’re a parent than I could stop right now and you would get it, but if you’re not, let me explain a little more.
I can remember being around 10 years old growing up in a small town in Maine, and in the summer my mom and step dad wanting to walk with my brother and I after dinner. YUCK !! Being seen with my parents !?!?! How embarrassing right ? You probably all remember something similar to this in your youth. But then you have kids and YOU GET IT !! You now understand why a mom or a dad would have this obsession with wanting to spend time with you. You understand to reason they worry when you ask to do a sport or why they look panicked when you come home late. Once you are a parent, you understand (or at least I did) what it means to love someone more than yourself. I could not tell you what I ate for breakfast, lunch, or dinner on May 9th 2011 or April 23rd, 2013 (the birthdays of my daughter Taylor and my son Brady), BUT I can describe for you their first sounds and every mind blowing emotion I had on those days when I got that first glimpse of their beautiful smiles. Had I known these things back when I was that little boy growing up in Maine, maybe I would have cut my mom some slack on those walks and not made sure to be a block ahead of them. But “I didn’t know what I didn’t know.”
These two examples are powerful to me because I lived them, but maybe they aren’t for you so let me try a different approach and then hopefully I can wrap this up in a pretty bow so you can decide if this is a “tool” for your instructor toolbox.
Do you know a reformed smoker who quit because the doctor said they had lung cancer? Do you know someone who lost a massive amount of weight because their doctor told them lose it or you will be gone in 3 months? How about a man or women who’s spouse said “if you cheat again I am leaving you” and the spouse smartened up? Why is it that we will do things we KNOW are bad for us and hurt others, and we will tell ourselves we “can’t stop,” yet when we are faced with losing everything, even our life, that we all of a sudden muster the courage and strength to give these things up?? I am as bad as anyone. The day after my daughter was born I taught class and I recall saying to them “I get paid to teach here but that’s not the reason I do. I do because I started having kids late (40 years old) and one day I plan to walk my granddaughter down the aisle one day.” Now for those paying attention, my daughter Taylor is only 4 years old and Brady is 2. So that means I have to do everything I can to stay healthy for probably at least another 50 years !! And if you ask how I know I will have a granddaughter, then ask me about the letter I wrote 20 years ago, mailed it to myself, and is still sitting in my safe. It was written to my daughter Taylor who I described to a “T” right down to saying she was part Asian. I have always known, and one day when she is old enough to understand the significance, she can open that SEALED and Post marked letter and read it herself.
But I am telling you now, I am a hypocrite. I say these things, yet the other day I was told that I need to stop drinking diet coke because it’s poison. I said “I know” but I only drink it when I have a meal. And at some point in that conversation I literally said “well if I found out it was making me sick then OF COURSE I would stop.” Then it hit me…….it is making me sick. One slow day at a time. Just like the person stressing over the mortgage bill is getting sick, and the person who can’t get of the couch is getting sick, and believe it or not, the person or people who are coming to our class and NOT working out are basically wasting their hour and likely on their way to less health, less energy, and less time on this earth with the people they love. It’s not as simple as “going to the gym.” I know that, you know that, and they really know that……..but if they aren’t really acting on it then the hour at the gym is nothing but wasted time. We need to do more than play the music and cue the sprints. We need to find a way, open a door, to whatever it is gonna take to convince them that this isn’t just a “class” or a place where they meet their friend before coffee and 2 hours of gossip. We need them to understand that this thing we do, peddling a bike for an hour, has meaning and DOES effect pretty much everything they will do that day, week, and year. Work hard, release endorphins and lose weight. Release endorphins and be in a better mood, have more energy, feel better with less aching. All those things will make you a better friend, spouse, dad. Those things will affect THEIR lives. More memories will be created, more love will be shared, more ideas are sparked, more friends are made, more passion is found, more more more more. We owe it to our students to find a way to make them understand this isn’t just an hour to waste. I wish someone had sit me down and slapped me until I understood the damage I was causing to my soul during the year of my divorce by wasting time on things that only mattered to me because I was hurting. I wish someone had found a way to make me understand what those walks meant for my mom because she won’t ever get that 10 year old boy back. And I hope anyone in YOUR lives right now who is saying “I could never do that” or “that’s impossible” have someone like you to sit them down and say “Unless you’re talking about WALKING to the moon, then please stop saying that’s impossible.” The next time YOU teach a class, I want you to pretend ( please forgive the dramatic analogy) that you are their doctor and it’s up to you to convince them that they can no longer take THIS workout lightly and that THIS workout matters because it does and chances are “They don’t know what they don’t know.”
PS My road to quitting diet soda starts this week for my two children and my grandchildren to follow. Happy Spinning!
My name is Jay Duplessie and I am a proud Indoor Cycling instructor of almost 20 years. In the spirit of full disclosure, I will tell you that I am not an outdoor cyclist…….but not for lack of trying.
You see something I learned early on was that although I’m addicted to the feeling of a hardcore workout, and I often obsess about getting to the gym, it has never been as much about the physical as the mental. I realized this after a very bad investment in a decent road bike complete with all the bells and whistles. I found that I could stay up late creating playlists for my class, get there early to prepare, and then drive myself crazy with excitement and anticipation to teach. But when I knew I was going to ride this very expensive bike on the paved roads around Denver……well let’s just say I dreaded the thought.
By the end of the summer it was time to sell the bike and to really look at what it was that I was missing. Why was I never able to capture the feeling on the road that I ALWAYS felt in my class? I knew right away what it was and this has continued to be the basis of how I teach. In fact, I hate the word “teach” when referring to what I do in my class.
No one needs to be taught how to peddle a bike. If anything I prefer the word “guide.” My goal every time I step into my class and get onto the bike is to take my class on a mental ride, an emotional workout by finding triggers that push them further than they’d push themselves. Music, imagery, and motivational quotes are the ammo I use when teaching (guiding) my classes. And I am so excited to be able to not only “tell my stories” to you all, but to also just be accepted into a group of likeminded cyclist who understand (as I do) that cycling IS and can be just as powerful in a room as it is for some on a paved road.
All it takes is finding the right emotional triggers, a true inner focus, and a story that ties all of it together. That is what I hope to be to you………a story teller to help connect the dots. Now let’s have fun !!
Triggers
Ralph Macchio, hands up in the air, one leg up at 90 degrees while the other (seemingly broken) is placed firmly on the Matt. Sense’ Pat Morita, and girlfriend Elisabeth Shue on the side lines looking on full of hope. Cobra Kai team-mates yelling “Sweep the leg Johnny” heard as black belt Johnny prepares to take down Macchio. Macchio standing in crane position waiting for the attack. Johnny rushes at Macchio and all of a sudden the “kick” heard round the world (at least for a 10 year old boy like me at the time) takes place to defeat the undisputed Johnny and Macchio wins the match. I’ve seen the movie 20 times, and know how it ends, yet even typing this message I get goose bumps. THAT my friend is a trigger. And it’s the core of how I have always taught all of my classes.
One of the reasons I love “indoor” cycling so much and have a difficult time riding outside, is that I not only love the ability to talk my class through motivational stories complete with triggers to get that extra inch out of them, but in an indoor cycling class we are all able to close our eyes to truly get inside our minds, our thoughts, and feed our emotions (our drive). For me it brings a level of peace and focus that to this day I can’t achieve anywhere else, not even when getting a massage.
The use of music, video, and your words are tools that (in my opinion) mean more than the amount of fans in the room, the type of bike you’re using, the amount they spent on their padded shorts, or even the type of day they had. You take anyone, and I mean anyone, and you present them with a well-structured class and THEN add some triggers, they will find the way to leave your room stronger than when they walked in.
When I teach, I often say that we all have an emotion that pushes us further than we normally go, and it may change from day to day which emotion that is. There are days that happiness is the emotion that will get you that extra RPM during the sprint. Or maybe anger is what it takes to get the extra wattage during a hill climb. And if WE continue to grow our relationship as (writer and reader) what you will learn about me is I’m a pretty deep and emotional guy. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I share my emotions to a fault. So I will share this with you.
Recently divorced, I learned several things about my ex-wife that haunt me to this day. On our fourth and FINAL anniversary she had a “business trip” to Texas.” I went to see one of my favorite bands, the Goo Goo Dolls that night by myself. Turns out she was in a hotel room in Texas with an old boyfriend from college having sex. And to make it worse (as if it could be) that guy had a wife at home with a one year old daughter AND his wife was 8 months pregnant. So while I was listening to one of my favorite bands, they were in bed together. SOOOOO, when I need an extra push during class what I do is play the song “Still Your Song” by the Goo Goo dolls and tell myself this was the song playing on the night that the person I loved and trusted most was destroying everything we had. Now if THAT isn’t a trigger, I don’t know what is. You don’t even have to know me to read that and feel “something” right ? And “feelings” are such a key part to what we use.
I encourage you all to tell stories, even if they are made up. Our clients come to us for a great workout, but they also come to us to help them tap into something that they can’t get on their own out in the cardio room. Tell stories of motivation, tell stories of desperation, tell stories of gratitude, but tell stories !!! Every single one of them wants to be entertained whether they will admit it or not.
We have a society OBSESSED with reality shows yet they are becoming less and less connected to their own real lives. Remind them of the things that inspire them, or piss them off in a way that makes them want to grit their teeth and push their legs until they want to vomit because they will be damned if they are gonna let their ex-wife and some random loser poor excuse of a man is going to ruin one of MY favorite songs without me putting up a fight during that up-hill resistance sprint !!
As most of you reading this (if you have children or Nieces/Nephews) probably witnessed this weekend, many kids were rummaging through every nook and cranny of pretty much every home in the US lol and MY house was no exception. As I always do, I went a bit overboard with the number of eggs and my poor kids got tired of looking after about 45 minutes lol But the tradition this year gave me a way to explain what I “tried” to explain to my doctor last week regarding my health and fitness.
I was sort of lazy this year and relied on Wal Mart to fill my eggs. Did you know they sell plastic eggs already filled with goodies (aka – horribly saturated sugar products dipped in sugar and dies, and wrapped in chemical laden plastic wrappers ((sad face))) !?!? The plus side to this is it saved me 2 hours of filling eggs. The downside is that I had no idea what was in any of those eggs. Some were large and colorful while others where small and pretty plain looking. But the items inside were all exactly the same. So no matter how much my two kids fought over the “Cool” looking eggs, when they sat to open them for the treasures they wound up with the same exact candies lolBut watching this all take place gave me an idea and reminded me of something I used to say ALL the time back when I began teaching. I'm going to try and put it into words now …….. 😉
Last week I met with a new doctor to discuss some therapy for my back, a new food plan to work with whatever the results are from my new blood work, and some exercises to do at home so that I can try and fix my back because waking up every day feeling like a 90 yr old man is getting very very old ! (Pun intended)
During the first visit we spent over an hour discussing my Healthy History, my diet, my workouts prior, and pretty much everything right down to how many times I “evacuate” each day/week. And yes, “evacuate” means what you think it does haha And the more questions he asked that related to how I feel on a day to day basis, the more I become discouraged and absolutely shocked that it took me this long to seek help because I can see now the YEARS of healthy living I have missed out on. I guess it's like boiling a frog in water. They “say” if you put him in when it's cold, and heat up slowly, he won't jump out and won't know he's slowly dieing =( Well that is how I got here. Started with occasional back pulls, to mid day pain, so all day pain, to CONSTANT pain. I've let it become a way of life. But here is what I was trying to explain to him but couldn't find a clear way to say it, and also what watching the eggs being opened made me think of ………….
Most of the day I feel like I'm 65, in the morning I feel 90, and on a good day with the right dose of pain meds and decent weather (yes cold and rainy days make it hurt more ???) I can feel as YOUNG as 55 haha BUT in any given week during the middle of my 90 minute class right up until I finish and shower, I feel 25 !!!!!!!! The energy, the workout, the blood flow, the bent over posture stretching my back, WHATEVER it is, it makes me feel young !! So what I was “TRYING” to tell this doctor was that sure, I feel sore, old, and in constant discomfort simply from sitting, BUT I also have moments when I feel healthy, strong, and young and I am in THE SAME EXACT BODY THAT GIVES ME CONSTANT PAIN !!??????!!!! WTF !!!! That 25 year old IS IN THERE somewhere and so I know I am capable to feel that way. It's not like I feel 90 every day, all the time. I know that under some circumstances I am able to access a younger, stronger me. So if “I'M” in there, then it's not a matter of giving up because I am just old and used up, it's simply a matter of figuring out how to access that part of me more. it's about removing all the things that put me into feeling unhealthy so I can be “healthy” more often. And as I write this now, I still feel as though I am not getting my point across !! haha.
Let's try this. Imagine you have to go and race in a huge event. And someone “donates” a car to you to use in this race. And imagine you go to check it out and it looks like one of those VERY OLD and rusty cars from the era of the TV show Happy Days. AAAAAAAAAAAlol (That was a Fonzy reference for you young pups lol) Well I feel like that old and rusty car, BUT at a closer examination I find that the outer “Shell” is the old rusty car, BUT under it hidden well is a fully loaded, brand new, shiny and sleek Lamborghini and all I have to do is remove the out shell ! Point being that I don't need to sand down and paint the rust, because the vehicle I need is already there and ready to go. I just need the right tools to take off the out shell. make sense ?
So the eggs are what made me think about the idea that the outer shell in MY case has very little to do with the inner. It reminded me how I've heard many many times over the years that a skinny thin person is NOT necessarily “healthier” than someone carrying a few extra pounds. And it reminded me to look at the fact that sometimes the treasure/candy/prize inside is that I DO HAVE THAT YOUNGER ME STILL HANGING AROUND AND READY TO PRODUCE !!!!
I then recalled something that I used to say ALLLLL the time in class. Back when I spent time and money going to seminars and motivational speakers. I used to say that at the end of every workout I want them feeling “Better than when they walked in” and to ANCHOR that feeling to the SPIN ROOM. That everything we did to feel so good at the end of class, and all the pride and passion for giving so much was the result of them working so hard. I would say that I don't have any magic power, that their water wasn't spiked, the air didn't have any special potion, and my music wasn't filled with subliminal messages haha and that EVERYTHING they accomplished during that 90 minutes was a result of THEIR efforts, THEIR Drive, and THEY could access THIS feeling and THIS level of being ANY TIME they wanted because I didn't provide anything more than the music and a few stories. THEY accessed this superhuman feeling all on their own and it's always in there if you know how to activate it !!
As instructors we can all attest to having 2 to 5 people before every class coming to us and saying things like “I have to leave early or “my knee isn't feeling great so I won't be pushing too hard” so it's a very thin line that separates the “US the instructor” from “US the motivator.” So please know that I am not promoting unsafe practices when I say this, but I think for me personally I need to do a better job at hearing the “excuse” and seeing if there is a way to kick their class off in a better way. I think I will start being more active in this way. I think instead of just nodding my head, I will now tell the people who have to leave early that I want from them “X” percent more effort from them in the shorter time they will be in class. And I will be totally serious. They come to us for guidance, and that's a fact. If they just wanted to peddle they could do it when class was done and the room was empty right ? They come to us expecting that WE know what they need to grow, to be healthy. They don't need another enabler to say “It's ok, just do enough.” And when someone tells me they are going to take it easy due to a pain somewhere, I am going to dig deeper. Should they be at class at all ? Will them being there only make for more injury later on and then a total inability to take class ? Is there injury a result of bad spinning ? Or can I listen to the persons and figure out what changes they could make to do something different that will HELP them. Maybe a simple change in the seat, handle bars, or cadence can give them an equally kick ass workout while NOT making the possible injury worse. The only issue I see is these comments usually come 90 seconds before class starts, and so now where I need to do a warm up, and ftp test, all before I can officially run my program, I am not sure I can always address the issue before that class, BUT can make a better effort to see them after class for as long as they need OR tell them to come early before my next class =) Because as I find myself on this new journey to regain my youth and get back to the inspired and motivational person I once was, I am finding that so much of the changes that I need to make would be equally as powerful to others if I can find a way to deliver the message.
One more thing. I just watched the lance Armstrong movie “The Program” which I just thought of when I typed “My Program” above. I have seen at least 10 documentaries on his story but this one was a dramatic movie with actors telling the story. And when I think about it, it kind of fits into this story right ? That the “package” on the outside doesn't always match what's inside. Just like those Easter eggs my kids opened. It didn't matter how big or colorful the eggs were, because the inside was always the same. But what makes this message really powerful in my eyes is that WE can control what's inside the egg. If I wasn't so lazy, I could have spent more time and energy and filled those eggs with better (healthier) treasures right?? Its the same with my body, my health, and even my classes. I am more committed now than ever that I can and will put more effort into everything that I do because I want to be the egg that shocks haha. I want to be the old wrinkly eggs that when opened up blows your mind with what's inside. When you open my egg I want you to hear that THX SOUND they play at the beginning of the movie and have all the power, energy, and color you could ever imagine. Like in the Pulp Fiction movie when they open the case and a beautiful light glows from the case lol Because I'm much to young to feel this damn old haha !!
So I still haven't heard from anyone (PLEASE READ LAST WEEKS POST) regarding my concern that my posts aren't hitting home. I am throwing this out there again this week. If I don't hear from at least 5 people saying they are reading this, then I am going to gracefully bow out so someone with a more appropriate message can fill this page for you, the reader =) I love writing these posts, BUT in all honesty its been difficult to get them done in time AND I find that I am not writing with my heart and thoughts all in for fear of offending people or not being positive enough . So the stories don't come out with my complete thought process and s maybe it's missing the mark. What can I say, sometimes I want to write how I feel and say things like “THIS” situation sucks rather than tell a pretty story about why it doesn't lol I want to say both things, even if it means that my post isn't all roses and candies haha because sometimes for me what makes me take massive action is to get mad as hell at the way something is. So if 5 or more people message me and say they are actually reading these posts, then I will keep going. But with zero feedback after all these months, I can only assume that no one has been moved and my focus needs to be somewhere else. ZERO hard feelings, I promise. But I am committed to doing only the things I love (if possible) and that create something that makes things better. And to do that, I need to have feedback in some fashion to know, otherwise I am just a guy struggling to fill a page up with random thoughts that only have meaning to me and for that i can just get a diary =) So direct message me to Jkduplessie@gmail.com and just say as much or as little as you want to so that I know if this is all worth continuing.
I hope you are all having an AMAZING week and I can't wait to roll out the newer, healthier, me by summer !!! =) Just in time to meet the women of my dreams !! I'm creating an environment inside and around me to attract someone amazing. I've already proven the opposite can happen =)
I've been doing a lot of things lately to help with my Health and Fitness (both mental and physical health) and today had an epiphany………at least for me lol
I happen to put on the Secret in the background while I worked. If you read earlier posts, I have given up listening to conspiracy documentaries and so I need something to replace that with. haha And although I have watched or listened to the secret 50 times, I can honestly say I have never watched it with this same insight and understanding of my current situation and so I feel as though this time I may get something new from the experience =)
So it gets to the part where Jack Canfield mentions his $100,000 check that he manifests and how he “had the idea while getting out of the shower.” This time though, that part of the movie spoke to me. And so I want to describe why and then attempt to tie it into being an instructor.
One of my big “Musts” for this year and all future years is to create a lifestyle of less financial stress, a more youthful energy and healthier body, and to find a way to spend more time with my kids and doing what I love. I know, I know, that's EVERY BODIES musts haha Maybe so, but I really think that as I have aged, my definition of all those things differ greatly from what I used to think and probably even MORE from what most people (especially younger) would say to define the things on my list. With age comes experience and with experience comes knowledge. If only it was reversed haha
Anyway, back to what happened for me when I heard him describe that “Out of shower experience.” It hit me that what I am going through in this very moment is what can (and Will) propel me to the things that I want, or will at least help me attain them. You see, I have wanted to be a public speaker for over 25 years. I literally would attend work conferences over a weekend and when most people skipped most speakers, I went out of my way to sit thru half of one, just so I could catch the second half of another. I would study them and how they spoke. I'd look for what worked for them and when people became engaged, AS WELL AS when they dis-engaged. I was convinced that it was my path !! But at the age of 45, the only speaking I get to do is to my kids when doing story time, OR to my class when I teach. Very fulfilling, but not ultimately what I think of when I dream of being a speaker.
One of the things, if not THE thing that has stopped me from going out and doing this is complete lack of confidence in this area. NOT lack of confidence in speaking, not at all. All I do is talk and I have a million stories and ideas !!! It's the lack of confidence in my ability to convince someone that I know what the hell I am taking about !! Why would someone listen to me and believe I have the answer to anything (is the words that echo in my head when I think of trying to visualize this as a career for me). And for YEARS I would tell myself “Jay you just need a story. Something bad has to happen to you that you overcome and THEN people will believe you have a clue.” Thoughts of getting cancer and beating it, or surviving a Plane crash, or even a hostage situation is ALL that I need to get peoples attention !!! I know, CRAZZZZZZYYYY !! lol
Then in 2008 the financial meltdown happened and I lost everything. Suddenly almost overnight everything I believed about my ability to be successful in business was gone. I tried for years to get hired back at what I used to do before starting my business but no one would hire me. Gained weight, stopped putting myself out there, and pretty much stopped believing I could recover. The “Motivational Speaker” dream suffered it's first serious blow.
Flash forward to two years ago and without wasting time on the details, let's just say that when I was FINALLY getting my feet back under me and starting to believe I could recapture the person I once thought I could be, life dealt me another major blow and this one was worse. My whole belief system on trust and love and commitment completely imploded and this turned me into someone who literally found myself saying “What's the fucking point??” DO NOT mis-read that !! I wasn't suicidal, not even close !! I was more of the feeling that why build up too many hopes and dreams because the Universe is gonna dish up whatever it dishes up and you just got to sit there and eat it. I mean when the person you gave everything to and who you trusted more than anyone ever on this earth shows you that you DO NOT matter overnight, it's kind of hard to look at the people around you that didn't play nearly as crucial a role in your life and assume they are going to do any better at being a true friend/partner/spouse, etc. So basically I have been fighting my way back for almost two years to a place where I want to believe that anything is STILL possible and want to give up on the negative baggage that I have carried for WAY too long !!
So now that you know the back story, I can tell you my “Big Epiphany” haha I have decided that my Journey, or my ROAD TO RECOVERY, is going to be my story !!! In a way, killing two birds with one big ass stone !!! I am going to take everything I am doing over the last month (You have to go read earlier posts if you want to know what I'm doing) and I am going to get myself to a place SO SUCCESSFUL that someone is going to ask how I did that and THEN not only will have have the end result to show them, I will ALSO have the road map I took to get there ! So NOW I will have the story to present to people, NOW I will have the story to write in books, NOW I will have the proof that I not only believed in the things that I read and practiced but I also DID those things and THAT is how and why I am happier, healthier, and have MY KIND of wealth which oddly enough doesn't consist of airplanes and yachts but instead looks more like a family life where we all go to bed with a warm blanket, full bellies, all bills being paid, and 3 to 4 weeks of family vacation. That is wealth to me these days.
The reason this whole plan speaks to me in conjunction with us as instructors is that we all teach or instruct based mostly on whatever format we were trained. We all use charts for Zone, BPM for heart rate, and so on. I would also bet that we all throw in a little of our own nuggets of knowledge too. If you're a triathlete or professional cyclist on the side than maybe what you add is something technical. If you're a story teller like me than maybe you add a quote that inspires someone to sprint harder. Who knows. But I ask you this……….are you sharing enough “nuggets” ?? Think outside the box on that one. Do you finish class and over hear someone telling their friend about an issue that you have been through and one which you could provide insight ? I mean, sure we always get the person asking “what do I do if my calf cramps up” and we have to answer those. But how many missed opportunities are there each class where you could spot something you have experience in and solve that problem just by showing this person “you've been there and this is how I fixed it.” ?????? It could be something in how they peddle, something in how they breath, or maybe even something more personal like parenting or spousal issues. I'm not sure when we gave up the reigns to facebook for solving every ones problems but I can tell you from experience that the best advise is hearing it face to face from someone who has been there and has the scars to prove it. Now go give out some NUGGETS !! Peace.
